The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 11

7/30/2012
So I asked a couple of friends to come over and assist me in finishing the house so we are ready for our home study, and with their help we kicked butt and got it all sparkly and shinny. Thank you my girls! Oh my gosh! My worker called me back today and told me that I needed to make sure we filled out the paperwork she emailed me. I told her the paperwork I had didn't have any place to write on it. Turns out she sent me more forms, that gives bitty spots to write a brief long answer. Yes I know I just contradicted myself, but it's true. There are sections that ask multiple questions and you have to give very brief answers. Yeah fun! I have never contemplated the nurturing going on during my childhood until I had to answer that question, then again I guess I never really thought a lot about stuff like that. It just was, and I'm finding it kinda hard to put into words.. I understand that many of the kids out there didn't have a "normal" childhood and that is why they are where they are and the workers what to make sure the home they go to has the right stuff. Good gads.

She also told me that this case, which she still hasn't gotten a chance to read is a rule 7. She then continued on as if I had a clue as to what she was talking about. I finally got her to stop and explain what a rule 7 was. Basically it means that my worker now has only 20 days to do our home study which involves the interviews and all the paperwork, rather than the normal 30 days.  Why? Because the state the kids are in wants them in their new home ASAP. Can't blame them one bit, and I guess it's a good thing for us as we might get them sooner and hopefully before school starts.

So tomorrow is the first of the home studies, and she will be mainly focusing on DH, so he doesn't have to miss a bunch of work except for when we go to court. I think I kinda like it that way cuz then I can see what I'm in for and try to get my thoughts in order. Now if I can only figure out where to put the boys until it's time to meet the worker so they don't mess the house up. Sigh.

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 10

July 27, 2012

A couple of weeks ago I called down to Texas to check up on the status of things, and to see how the kids were doing.
Their worker answered and said, Oh! I was just going to call you. I forgot to get your SS#'s. I got a email last week asking for them." Well, gee whiz sweetheart, you got it last week and today is Friday...sigh.

Anyhow she said that this was the last thing needed before sending it off to Minnesota. I kinda didn't believe her. I mean this has been such a pain in the ass the whole time. I just kinda filed it back in the old filing cabinet that is called my brain...have I mentioned that my filing system seems to be broke a lot? Luckily I did remember to pass the news along to all the people waiting just as impatiently as me. The best answer I could give them as to when this would all start was, as soon as last week, or who the heck knows when.

I really should re-read my last post before starting a new one. That was pretty much all a recap of what I said before.
D'Oh, sorry.
So I get a call today, and I looked at the number before I answered the phone and it kinda looked familiar but wasn't sure. OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! It was county calling me about the kids. My county, not Texas's county. She literally had just gotten the notice that she got my case, and didn't even have the case in front of her yet! HALLAFRICKINULA!!! Finally we are on my turf...sort of. I at least speak the same language. This lady was awesome! She is the link that I needed all along. Me and her are going to get along just swimmingly.

Then it hits me...holy shit this is the lady who has the power to say we are not good enough as foster/adoptive parents!  This is the lady who will be looking into EVERY single little wrinkle of my life. She will be judging me based on how my life has turned out, or not turned out. She is the human form of God on judgement day. I could be so screwed. I mean I have always tried to live my life decently, but there was some times where I just straight up didn't use my brain, and the out comes were...well...not so pretty. 

She sounded so happy to have gotten a hold of me right away. Apparently, she has had a streak of wrong numbers or whatever and has used up two of the four weeks she has to get this all done just trying to get a hold of the people. Not the case with me, oh no baby. Here I am! Right here! See me jumping up and down? Over here! Hi I'm Kim, and I will be available anytime you need me.

So because DH is the only bread winner of the family, she is going to try to do this with as little lost time from work as possible for him. What a sweetheart! So we set up a date for the first homestudy. (We get to have three or four of these lovely interrogation.)for the 6th of August, that way he had time to let work know he needed that day off. He gets off early today and says...nope that's not gonna work. Umm, what do you mean that's not going to work? Let me explain the way things go regarding adoption and dealing with the state...we politely nod our heads yes, and say whatever works for you is just fine for us. Apparently just about everyone in his office is taking that day off. This would include the only other person who know's how to do his job. Shaaa it! 

So I call my worker back. You have no idea how wonderful that sounds to my ears. My worker. She is all mine. Mine, mine, mine. Ok, enough already, I call her back and very humbly ask, "can we reschedule please? He just found out that the other person who can do his job is on vacation that day. I am so very sorry." Well after some time we figured it out and settled for the 1st of the month. Whoa Nellie! I just moved this up six days, and I am so not ready for them to come and see my house. I am almost there, but ya know, life happens and things get put on the back burner...It is officially time to PANIC! People have been asking me all along, if I'm getting stressed out or anything, and I haven't. That is until I received the phone call and was given an actual date for this to start. 

So Princess and I started cleaning the kitchen. Well I should say Princess started cleaning, because I was busy running around in circles. I was making to do lists, shopping lists, notes telling me what I was supposed to be doing, texting my peeps, calling my Uncle...I did manage to clean almost all the pantry so I guess I did some cleaning. I even managed to get 98% of the girls room done too. Cooking dinner was a breeze as we ordered pizza. I was a very bad girl and strayed from my diet. I figured it was ok to have extra sodium since I hadn't eaten yet. And now I am just babbling.

I suppose I should finally tell my dad about our attempt to adopt the kids. I'll call him up and say something along the lines of, "oh by the way your going to have to buy extra birthday cards cuz we're adopting three more kiddies."  I just know what he's gonna say. "Why in the hell are you going to do this? Don't you have enough problems and crap? You can't even afford the kids you have." Ok maybe he wont say the last line, but I know he's thinking it. I know he doesn't understand why I do things like this, and that's ok. Hell, for that matter sometimes I don't have a clue as to why I do it. All I know is that it feels like the right thing to do. So it's really time to hang on to our hats and take off like a whirlwind. Ok, well maybe not, but my worker has only 30 days to get this all done, so here we go. 

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 9

June 29th
I called the kids social worker today and got her answering machine. I then called her supervisor and she answered. I explained that I was wondering if we could set-up a skype session with the kids and big brother, and also wanted to know about any progress there might have been.

She of course said that it wasn't up to her on the skype session, but that she would bring the idea to the other people who have the say so. She said the kids were adjusting well to their foster home. I specifically asked about the child who was diagnosed with RAD, to get a feel as to how well the child was adjusting. It sounds like the ability to adjust well is there, but of course there are going to be problems for awhile. In fact while talking to the supervisor there was no mention of the horrible problems that these kids seem to have or be diagnosed with. Strange. When they were trying to scare me off they made it seem like these kids were so horrible and hard to handle, but now that they actually were looking at me as a serious possibility to place these kids...not hardly a mention. I asked the supervisor if they were for real considering  us as adoptive parents, or if they were just telling me stuff to appease me so they didn't have to deal with me, and she said no that this is for real, and very quietly and quickly mentioned in an off handed manner that she didn't know what to do if this fell through as this was the last chance, mumble,  mumble...kids. She also mentioned that the foster home the kids were in is only a long term home. It seems to me that they really don't have anyone who is willing to adopt all three of them, and I am the last chance. I really hope we pass the homestudy.

July 13th
I called the worker to see how things were going, and to ask a couple of questions. I left a message for her, and she called me back a couple of hours later. That is a first! Hallelujah! Usually it takes them a week to call me back. I think it might have been because she needed more info from me, but I like to think that it's cuz I'm in on this. 
I wanted to know what sizes the kids were wearing, and what was their favorite things to play with, and favorite colors. She said that she would have to talk to the foster mom on the sizes, but that the oldest is very girly girl, the boy is infatuated with CARS, and the youngest is happy with whatever. Not something I would associate with RAD, but what the hell do I know. The boy was able to have a pool party for his birthday, and they have been going to camp, and doing lots of activities this summer. A chance to be real kids, how wonderful! Once again no mention of the sever issues these kids was mentioned. Guess they are done trying to scare me away for now. The worker also seemed super surprised when I mentioned that we were almost done setting up the house for the kids. Not sure why she would be surprised as everyone keeps telling me to get ready like they will be dropping them off when they do the homestudy. 

I kinda feel like I could never live up to the funness of their foster home. It seems like a very nice place to live, and they have been able to send them to so many different programs and stuff. How am I ever to compete with that? I mean here we are just regular people, and find it hard enough to figure out how to go fishing. I have no idea how to plan this stuff out. I feel like I kinda suck. It sounds like the foster home is perfect, and we are very far from that. How are we supposed to pass the homestudy if we can't even begin to compete with that?

I have moments too, that this might be more than I can handle. I think to myself, "holy crap! Three more kids to take care of, am I freaking insane?!" I like my life as it is, but sometimes God takes us very far from the path we think we were supposed to be on. He really seems to have fun with me for some reason. What can I do but keep on putting one foot in front of the other. I've learned that panicking or complaining about it sure isn't going to solve anything, so I might as well make the best of it, and try to have fun while I stumble through life. A very wise lesson I have somehow managed to learn. I wish I could pass it on to friends, but it's a lesson you have to come upon by yourself. 

Well according to the worker, the information she needed was the last of it, and the paperwork would be getting sent to my state. Here's keeping fingers crossed.

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 8

5/29/2012

So I gave the regional supervisor a whole week to call me back. I didn't hear a thing from her. I decided that I would call her tomorrow since today was spent recovering from the crazy amount of cooking and prep I did yesterday. Just was pretty out of it today, and not in the mood to deal with bureaucratic bs.

In the middle of making dinner tonight I got a phone call from Texas. It was the regional supervisor finally calling me. Now this lady had that southern drawl I had been expecting from all the others. She was so sweet sounding I just wanted to reach through the phone and give her a big hug. Oops getting back to the point. So she tells me that they are sending the papers to the judge to expedite my home study. PROGRESS FINALLY!!! I guess it pays to make a call to headquarters and send them on the war path. When 1+1 isn't making 2 it's time to investigate what's going on. So very sorry I cause a stink...naw, no I'm not made you do your job.

Ya know just as I sit down to write this, the family thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread. It is now two days later, let's see if I can finish this. I sent my best girls, and DH a text telling them the good news. I called the wonderful lady who got me started with the classes and has been giving me little hints of advice when dealing with Texas. Got a big ol' WA-hoo out of her, and of course had to tell her how it all came about.

Now here is the reality setting in...I have a home study to do. I have no idea when it will begin, but I guess I will find out when the call comes. In the mean time...I gots a whole lotta work to do here. I have been cleaning things out like a crazy person around here. I can finally see the floor in my closet. I haven't seen it since all our stuff was shipped here and we just shoved stuff in there to get it out of the way. The worst thing is there were only three small boxes of my stuff. All the rest was Princess's and DH's.

I shall pause to insert the following: I think Smokey is going deaf. Either that or he has very selective hearing. Good thing...his nose works way too good, so if I have to get his attention I just grab a piece of food lol.

Back to reality. My house. Filled with crap, and no storage space. We wont mention the fact I suck at organizing. We don't have a garage, and the basement small and  is so damp we have to be careful what we put down there. That means we take over closets. All of them are filled to the ceiling with crap. Plus we have WAY to much furniture that just isn't working in this house. Don't want to get rid of it since most of it is nice and it would work in a larger home, but we have no place to store it. Oh yeah, we're still working on buying a house so we will be moving within the next year. When we go big, we go big around here.

So on top of trying to empty the house, we are also trying to fill it. We need to have physical proof that the kids will have their own beds, dressers...basically stuff. We need a bunk bed, and a twin bed. We need dressers, we need clothes and toys for these kids. I am sure they will be coming with pretty much nothing. Oh did I mention...we are broke right now? Yeah there isn't much money right now. Not sure how that happened, but hopefully DH will be getting a big FAT raise with his promotion that was supposed to start two weeks ago, but has been put off until next Monday. In the mean time I am surfing my free sites and gonna be hitting some garage sales as soon as I get some cash. HOPEFULLY I will be able to find all this stuff ASAP, and get the kids rooms set up. Damn I better pass this fuckin home study, cuz if I don't that will be a butt load of more crap to get rid of. On the positive side of what would be a shitty situation...my house will be empty. Thinking that's not a very good thing to look forward too.

Ok now to jump over here for a moment. When I spoke with the worker, the immediate supervisor, and the regional supervisor they all said that the children had severe, (and yes they all said some form of severe) behavior, social, mental issues. One of them let it slip that the youngest had RAD also known as Reactive Attachment Disorder. This child may or may not have this, I guess I will find out when I pass my home study, and they actually let me see just what the hell is up. What I hate, and I really hate it, is when the people in the medical field give such a broad range of symptoms. It almost seems like they keep coming up with stuff to box in children and people when they don't fit into their "normal" box. Now I read the symptoms of this disorder, and to be honest, I have seen many people and children with the same behaviors. Ugh...my thoughts and feelings on this encompass way more time than I have to write it all down here.

And on that note...I'm gonna sit here and look at my house and try to come up with a game plan. Lord help me.

I Flew to the Moon

Oh wow, I just had my six year old smoke my butt at pool.  Not once, but twice!. Ok granted it was on a table top pool table, but really? I must re-evaluate my pool playing strategy. Like perhaps play on my knees so I'm sort of level with the table, or put it on a taller table so he has to be on his tippy toes. I told him that he can't be smoking my butt since I've been playing longer, he replies with,"maybe you just can't play". Ouch, touche my young son. I shall beat you soon just you wait.

Well I got everything re-arranged for the HUGE food and water dish for BG. Yeah, I hate my house some days. I just cleaned out the pantry not too long ago, and it is a disaster again. Seems somebody (Princess) doesn't like to put things back where they belong. Now like I mentioned before my house is very small, but my kitchen...well it's micro. Since I don't have that many cabinets I store all the big pots and cookers in the pantry. It is a very tight fit, and if one thing is out of place, there isn't room for what is actually supposed to go there. I must now re-arrange my entire pantry no thanks to Princess. I wont even mention the coat closet that I went to put something in and couldn't even get in there. Sigh...I give up. That is until I get pissed enough and start ripping everything apart to fix the problem. Never mind the fact that while I'm doing this I will be throwing a spectacular tantrum. I just might need a time-out, or if I was a drinking woman, a nice glass of something good.

Superman came in the kitchen and says to me, "hey what smells so good?" "Honey mustard chicken, why does it smell good?" "Oh yeah, smells wonderful." I hope they don't like it. It's Hamburger Helper, or rather Chicken Helper. My ego would be severely bruised if I'm out cooked by a box. Come to think of it, what got into me? I never ever buy this kind of food, well except Mac and Cheese sometimes. Must be slipping or something, or just had some leftover chicken I had no idea on what to do with. Yeah that's it, I'm sticking with that story. It really didn't have anything to do with me being lazy, not at all.

Update: Superman did not like it so I guess I'm still number one around here. He did mention before he even took a bite that it smelled so good he didn't want to eat it all gone. Guess smell and taste were on different tracks today.

BG has this really irritating habit of when she wants to be petted she will nudge your arm. She is currently making it very hard to type. She apparently wants some pets. I better give her a pet before she starts giving me her paw which she does if she isn't getting her way. She has a big ole paw, and she seems to have good coordination to smacking me in the face with her nails. Yeah, this habit is going to end soon. People will start asking what the hell happened to me when they see my face all scratched up. I of course will tell them I got in a fight with a bear or some other wild animal. Kind of like when a bill collector called me and I told them I had flown to the moon. The dumb chick actually believed me, and I never heard from them again. Sometimes the stories have to be so unbelievable to be believable I guess.

Somehow I have managed to hurt one of my toes. It happens to be the middle toe, so I can secretly flip off everyone who pisses me off. Hehe. I don't have any idea what I did, it just started hurting, and it hurts really bad. Almost like it's out of joint or something. So I think tonight calls for just putting my feet up and doing a whole bunch of nothing. Maybe catch a flick on Netflix or something. Now I just need some good munchies. Any volunteers?