The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 11

7/30/2012
So I asked a couple of friends to come over and assist me in finishing the house so we are ready for our home study, and with their help we kicked butt and got it all sparkly and shinny. Thank you my girls! Oh my gosh! My worker called me back today and told me that I needed to make sure we filled out the paperwork she emailed me. I told her the paperwork I had didn't have any place to write on it. Turns out she sent me more forms, that gives bitty spots to write a brief long answer. Yes I know I just contradicted myself, but it's true. There are sections that ask multiple questions and you have to give very brief answers. Yeah fun! I have never contemplated the nurturing going on during my childhood until I had to answer that question, then again I guess I never really thought a lot about stuff like that. It just was, and I'm finding it kinda hard to put into words.. I understand that many of the kids out there didn't have a "normal" childhood and that is why they are where they are and the workers what to make sure the home they go to has the right stuff. Good gads.

She also told me that this case, which she still hasn't gotten a chance to read is a rule 7. She then continued on as if I had a clue as to what she was talking about. I finally got her to stop and explain what a rule 7 was. Basically it means that my worker now has only 20 days to do our home study which involves the interviews and all the paperwork, rather than the normal 30 days.  Why? Because the state the kids are in wants them in their new home ASAP. Can't blame them one bit, and I guess it's a good thing for us as we might get them sooner and hopefully before school starts.

So tomorrow is the first of the home studies, and she will be mainly focusing on DH, so he doesn't have to miss a bunch of work except for when we go to court. I think I kinda like it that way cuz then I can see what I'm in for and try to get my thoughts in order. Now if I can only figure out where to put the boys until it's time to meet the worker so they don't mess the house up. Sigh.

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 10

July 27, 2012

A couple of weeks ago I called down to Texas to check up on the status of things, and to see how the kids were doing.
Their worker answered and said, Oh! I was just going to call you. I forgot to get your SS#'s. I got a email last week asking for them." Well, gee whiz sweetheart, you got it last week and today is Friday...sigh.

Anyhow she said that this was the last thing needed before sending it off to Minnesota. I kinda didn't believe her. I mean this has been such a pain in the ass the whole time. I just kinda filed it back in the old filing cabinet that is called my brain...have I mentioned that my filing system seems to be broke a lot? Luckily I did remember to pass the news along to all the people waiting just as impatiently as me. The best answer I could give them as to when this would all start was, as soon as last week, or who the heck knows when.

I really should re-read my last post before starting a new one. That was pretty much all a recap of what I said before.
D'Oh, sorry.
So I get a call today, and I looked at the number before I answered the phone and it kinda looked familiar but wasn't sure. OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! It was county calling me about the kids. My county, not Texas's county. She literally had just gotten the notice that she got my case, and didn't even have the case in front of her yet! HALLAFRICKINULA!!! Finally we are on my turf...sort of. I at least speak the same language. This lady was awesome! She is the link that I needed all along. Me and her are going to get along just swimmingly.

Then it hits me...holy shit this is the lady who has the power to say we are not good enough as foster/adoptive parents!  This is the lady who will be looking into EVERY single little wrinkle of my life. She will be judging me based on how my life has turned out, or not turned out. She is the human form of God on judgement day. I could be so screwed. I mean I have always tried to live my life decently, but there was some times where I just straight up didn't use my brain, and the out comes were...well...not so pretty. 

She sounded so happy to have gotten a hold of me right away. Apparently, she has had a streak of wrong numbers or whatever and has used up two of the four weeks she has to get this all done just trying to get a hold of the people. Not the case with me, oh no baby. Here I am! Right here! See me jumping up and down? Over here! Hi I'm Kim, and I will be available anytime you need me.

So because DH is the only bread winner of the family, she is going to try to do this with as little lost time from work as possible for him. What a sweetheart! So we set up a date for the first homestudy. (We get to have three or four of these lovely interrogation.)for the 6th of August, that way he had time to let work know he needed that day off. He gets off early today and says...nope that's not gonna work. Umm, what do you mean that's not going to work? Let me explain the way things go regarding adoption and dealing with the state...we politely nod our heads yes, and say whatever works for you is just fine for us. Apparently just about everyone in his office is taking that day off. This would include the only other person who know's how to do his job. Shaaa it! 

So I call my worker back. You have no idea how wonderful that sounds to my ears. My worker. She is all mine. Mine, mine, mine. Ok, enough already, I call her back and very humbly ask, "can we reschedule please? He just found out that the other person who can do his job is on vacation that day. I am so very sorry." Well after some time we figured it out and settled for the 1st of the month. Whoa Nellie! I just moved this up six days, and I am so not ready for them to come and see my house. I am almost there, but ya know, life happens and things get put on the back burner...It is officially time to PANIC! People have been asking me all along, if I'm getting stressed out or anything, and I haven't. That is until I received the phone call and was given an actual date for this to start. 

So Princess and I started cleaning the kitchen. Well I should say Princess started cleaning, because I was busy running around in circles. I was making to do lists, shopping lists, notes telling me what I was supposed to be doing, texting my peeps, calling my Uncle...I did manage to clean almost all the pantry so I guess I did some cleaning. I even managed to get 98% of the girls room done too. Cooking dinner was a breeze as we ordered pizza. I was a very bad girl and strayed from my diet. I figured it was ok to have extra sodium since I hadn't eaten yet. And now I am just babbling.

I suppose I should finally tell my dad about our attempt to adopt the kids. I'll call him up and say something along the lines of, "oh by the way your going to have to buy extra birthday cards cuz we're adopting three more kiddies."  I just know what he's gonna say. "Why in the hell are you going to do this? Don't you have enough problems and crap? You can't even afford the kids you have." Ok maybe he wont say the last line, but I know he's thinking it. I know he doesn't understand why I do things like this, and that's ok. Hell, for that matter sometimes I don't have a clue as to why I do it. All I know is that it feels like the right thing to do. So it's really time to hang on to our hats and take off like a whirlwind. Ok, well maybe not, but my worker has only 30 days to get this all done, so here we go. 

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 9

June 29th
I called the kids social worker today and got her answering machine. I then called her supervisor and she answered. I explained that I was wondering if we could set-up a skype session with the kids and big brother, and also wanted to know about any progress there might have been.

She of course said that it wasn't up to her on the skype session, but that she would bring the idea to the other people who have the say so. She said the kids were adjusting well to their foster home. I specifically asked about the child who was diagnosed with RAD, to get a feel as to how well the child was adjusting. It sounds like the ability to adjust well is there, but of course there are going to be problems for awhile. In fact while talking to the supervisor there was no mention of the horrible problems that these kids seem to have or be diagnosed with. Strange. When they were trying to scare me off they made it seem like these kids were so horrible and hard to handle, but now that they actually were looking at me as a serious possibility to place these kids...not hardly a mention. I asked the supervisor if they were for real considering  us as adoptive parents, or if they were just telling me stuff to appease me so they didn't have to deal with me, and she said no that this is for real, and very quietly and quickly mentioned in an off handed manner that she didn't know what to do if this fell through as this was the last chance, mumble,  mumble...kids. She also mentioned that the foster home the kids were in is only a long term home. It seems to me that they really don't have anyone who is willing to adopt all three of them, and I am the last chance. I really hope we pass the homestudy.

July 13th
I called the worker to see how things were going, and to ask a couple of questions. I left a message for her, and she called me back a couple of hours later. That is a first! Hallelujah! Usually it takes them a week to call me back. I think it might have been because she needed more info from me, but I like to think that it's cuz I'm in on this. 
I wanted to know what sizes the kids were wearing, and what was their favorite things to play with, and favorite colors. She said that she would have to talk to the foster mom on the sizes, but that the oldest is very girly girl, the boy is infatuated with CARS, and the youngest is happy with whatever. Not something I would associate with RAD, but what the hell do I know. The boy was able to have a pool party for his birthday, and they have been going to camp, and doing lots of activities this summer. A chance to be real kids, how wonderful! Once again no mention of the sever issues these kids was mentioned. Guess they are done trying to scare me away for now. The worker also seemed super surprised when I mentioned that we were almost done setting up the house for the kids. Not sure why she would be surprised as everyone keeps telling me to get ready like they will be dropping them off when they do the homestudy. 

I kinda feel like I could never live up to the funness of their foster home. It seems like a very nice place to live, and they have been able to send them to so many different programs and stuff. How am I ever to compete with that? I mean here we are just regular people, and find it hard enough to figure out how to go fishing. I have no idea how to plan this stuff out. I feel like I kinda suck. It sounds like the foster home is perfect, and we are very far from that. How are we supposed to pass the homestudy if we can't even begin to compete with that?

I have moments too, that this might be more than I can handle. I think to myself, "holy crap! Three more kids to take care of, am I freaking insane?!" I like my life as it is, but sometimes God takes us very far from the path we think we were supposed to be on. He really seems to have fun with me for some reason. What can I do but keep on putting one foot in front of the other. I've learned that panicking or complaining about it sure isn't going to solve anything, so I might as well make the best of it, and try to have fun while I stumble through life. A very wise lesson I have somehow managed to learn. I wish I could pass it on to friends, but it's a lesson you have to come upon by yourself. 

Well according to the worker, the information she needed was the last of it, and the paperwork would be getting sent to my state. Here's keeping fingers crossed.

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 8

5/29/2012

So I gave the regional supervisor a whole week to call me back. I didn't hear a thing from her. I decided that I would call her tomorrow since today was spent recovering from the crazy amount of cooking and prep I did yesterday. Just was pretty out of it today, and not in the mood to deal with bureaucratic bs.

In the middle of making dinner tonight I got a phone call from Texas. It was the regional supervisor finally calling me. Now this lady had that southern drawl I had been expecting from all the others. She was so sweet sounding I just wanted to reach through the phone and give her a big hug. Oops getting back to the point. So she tells me that they are sending the papers to the judge to expedite my home study. PROGRESS FINALLY!!! I guess it pays to make a call to headquarters and send them on the war path. When 1+1 isn't making 2 it's time to investigate what's going on. So very sorry I cause a stink...naw, no I'm not made you do your job.

Ya know just as I sit down to write this, the family thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread. It is now two days later, let's see if I can finish this. I sent my best girls, and DH a text telling them the good news. I called the wonderful lady who got me started with the classes and has been giving me little hints of advice when dealing with Texas. Got a big ol' WA-hoo out of her, and of course had to tell her how it all came about.

Now here is the reality setting in...I have a home study to do. I have no idea when it will begin, but I guess I will find out when the call comes. In the mean time...I gots a whole lotta work to do here. I have been cleaning things out like a crazy person around here. I can finally see the floor in my closet. I haven't seen it since all our stuff was shipped here and we just shoved stuff in there to get it out of the way. The worst thing is there were only three small boxes of my stuff. All the rest was Princess's and DH's.

I shall pause to insert the following: I think Smokey is going deaf. Either that or he has very selective hearing. Good thing...his nose works way too good, so if I have to get his attention I just grab a piece of food lol.

Back to reality. My house. Filled with crap, and no storage space. We wont mention the fact I suck at organizing. We don't have a garage, and the basement small and  is so damp we have to be careful what we put down there. That means we take over closets. All of them are filled to the ceiling with crap. Plus we have WAY to much furniture that just isn't working in this house. Don't want to get rid of it since most of it is nice and it would work in a larger home, but we have no place to store it. Oh yeah, we're still working on buying a house so we will be moving within the next year. When we go big, we go big around here.

So on top of trying to empty the house, we are also trying to fill it. We need to have physical proof that the kids will have their own beds, dressers...basically stuff. We need a bunk bed, and a twin bed. We need dressers, we need clothes and toys for these kids. I am sure they will be coming with pretty much nothing. Oh did I mention...we are broke right now? Yeah there isn't much money right now. Not sure how that happened, but hopefully DH will be getting a big FAT raise with his promotion that was supposed to start two weeks ago, but has been put off until next Monday. In the mean time I am surfing my free sites and gonna be hitting some garage sales as soon as I get some cash. HOPEFULLY I will be able to find all this stuff ASAP, and get the kids rooms set up. Damn I better pass this fuckin home study, cuz if I don't that will be a butt load of more crap to get rid of. On the positive side of what would be a shitty situation...my house will be empty. Thinking that's not a very good thing to look forward too.

Ok now to jump over here for a moment. When I spoke with the worker, the immediate supervisor, and the regional supervisor they all said that the children had severe, (and yes they all said some form of severe) behavior, social, mental issues. One of them let it slip that the youngest had RAD also known as Reactive Attachment Disorder. This child may or may not have this, I guess I will find out when I pass my home study, and they actually let me see just what the hell is up. What I hate, and I really hate it, is when the people in the medical field give such a broad range of symptoms. It almost seems like they keep coming up with stuff to box in children and people when they don't fit into their "normal" box. Now I read the symptoms of this disorder, and to be honest, I have seen many people and children with the same behaviors. Ugh...my thoughts and feelings on this encompass way more time than I have to write it all down here.

And on that note...I'm gonna sit here and look at my house and try to come up with a game plan. Lord help me.

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 7

5/21-22/2012

Monday
So after speaking with the mother of the children and hearing her side, and getting to speak to her mother I decided to write a letter pleading my case to someone high up regarding this case. Well at least that was my intentions on Friday. It's Monday now, and as I went to sit down to really write this letter out, my hands got a mind of their own. I found that rather than looking up the information that was needed for this letter, my hands started typing in other stuff. I ended back up at the headquarters for Texas CPS. Now I just wrote them an email about this whole mess on the 14th.  Something keeps drawing me to them as the possible answer in dealing with this county.

So, I made a phone call, and asked what the formal way of going about letting whomever it is about my intentions of adopting these kids. This lady was so sweet. I gave her a very brief run down on what had been going on regarding the worker, and her supervisor. I told her of my fear that I was not being given a fair opportunity on adopting the kids, or that any of my conversations were being documented in the case record. After all for some reason they were not aware of my other relative, even though that relative had been called several times by them. What can they say, "oops! My bad I forgot to document you in the case file." Not going to let that happen. Thank you Ramsey County for giving me ideas in regards to dealing with these people. Guess it just takes one to know one.

So this sweet lady tells me that it sounds like it needs to be investigated and that she will give me a call by the end of the day. She also said that if it turns out something fishy is going on that she will give me the number to file a formal complaint to the State of Texas. She called me later that day to let me know that she was having trouble finding out information, and getting a hold of  people also, and that she was going to keep digging and would call me tomorrow. She gave me her direct line and re-assured me that she was calling me back like she said she would.

Tuesday
The lady from CPS headquarters called me back, but unfortunately I missed her call. I was at one end of the house, phone what on the other end. Missed it by one ring. Dang! She did leave me a message though, and told me that she had finally gotten a hold of the regional director of CPS and that she would be calling me, and if there was any thing else she could help me with to give her a call. The supervisor she was trying to get a hold of turns out to be one of the supervisors that I had called and left a message with, and one of the people who never called me back. This message was late in the day so I didn't think  that she would be calling today, but I am expecting her call tomorrow.

I feel so helpless sitting here having to rely on someone else to make a decision. I am restless, but can't seem to make myself do anything. Tired, but eyes pop wide open bright and early. Good Lord I hope this lady gives me some answers. This time I made sure I wrote down my questions that I want specific answers too. Speaking of wanting specific answers I had better find an app that will record what I'm saying. I don't have something to record the phone conversation, but I sure can and will be irritating by repeating everything she says to me so I can record it.

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 6

5/18/2012

Well I have let the supervisor and the kids attorney have a whole week to get back to me, and I have heard diddly squat from anyone. I guess Monday shall be another day filled with phone calls to Texas. Good thing I have unlimited calling on my phone, and it's a good thing that I have nothing better to do than make phone calls to whomever I think will give me some information.

Speaking of getting more information, the kids mom finally got a hold of me regarding the kids, and had some extra information for me like names and address's and phone numbers. It only took her ten days, but at least she did get back to me. It sounds like Texas is just weaving a lovely little web of lies. I don't like webs, of any kind...spider, lies, whatever kinds...I tend to destroy them as I go. I really don't know what the out come of all of this will be, but at least I will have gotten under some peoples skin, and called them on their shit.

I also got to speak to the mother-in-law. I haven't really spoken to her other than a greeting at the wedding. Hmm. It was a pleasant conversation. A lot of plans on what she is going to do regarding getting custody of the kids. It's gonna be a long journey I think.

Not sure what I should do regarding the class's. I mean I guess everything has to go through the county, and the classes are through a agency. Should I go to the final class tomorrow or just say piss on it. I would really like to do some neat things with the family tomorrow since it seems to be the day that everyone in the city is doing little special things. On the other hand it would look good if I did go to the class even though it wont count in the end.
Stupid Texas!!! Just fricken send the paperwork here so I can get started on something that counts! I am about to march on down there and start whoopin some butt. Ok not really, but come on you people. You can not just write everyone who is family off cuz you feel like it.

You don't want the parents in contact with the kids...fine. You want them in therapy forever...fine. You want them to have a stable life...we have it. You want the home to have enough money...we got it. You want their foster home to be the one to adopt them...hello here I am! You want them in school...got a very good charter school all lined up. Here let me sniff your butt like a dog, cuz I'm willing to do whatever is in your outline.

Ok, time to write a letter to someone very important regarding the kids. It's quiet, I've ranted a bit, need a snack...then I shall write.

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 5

5/14/2012
So this weekend me and DH went to the classes for foster/adoption licensing here in Minnesota. Well I should say we went to the first class. It was interesting, but not really helpful. Talk about making the poor kids out there waiting to adopt look horrible. They have problems so what, everyone has problems. These kids just weren't given the skills to learn how to deal with a normal life. Talking about all the kids out there, not just the one's we are looking to adopt.

Speaking of kids...I finally heard back from their workers supervisor, but the steps involved to get to that were just crazy. I called her for about a week 2-3 times a day. I then called her supervisor I believe three times ( have it written down here somewhere) she never called me back. Today I called and left a message with supervisor next in line. I then went on the adoption site for the state of Texas. I located an email address and since I had no idea which region I needed so I just emailed the main peoples. I spewed my problem and issue out and left it at that. I forgot to check my emails later in the day, and when I got to Princess's school to pick her up my phone rings. Guess who it is? It was the immediate supervisor to the worker calling me back finally. Guess what else??? I got home and checked my emails and there was a reply to my email at 3:25, the supervisor called me at 4:32. Hmmm.

So anyhow me and the supervisor talked for about an hour, her getting to know me and find out what I knew of the situations that landed the kids there. I told her all I knew. I told her about my family, and why we were doing this. I told her that this is what family is supposed to do. Rally around and take care of family so that we can keep the traditions strong, and I will have answers for the children when they start asking who their peoples are. She explained that the state had entered into an agreement with the parents regarding their placement and what not. She told me that these would be special needs children who would need long term therapy. I told her that I would have been surprised if the children didn't need help with behaviors and learning how to deal with things. It is the parents who stated that these children would be getting adopted by their foster family. I'm not sure what the goal was in this, but I made it very clear that I would do whatever I needed to do in order to keep in accordance with the agreement they had established. I would be their adopting foster parent.

She sounded pleasantly surprised by some of my answers, and she seemed to perk up with each one. She did make it very clear that they might not be able to let me foster/adopt the kids due to the agreement, but she would bring everything I told her to the children's lawyer and Guardian Ad Litem and get back to me as soon as she got an answer. At least this time I wasn't told no flat out, and things were explained to me. I have the feeling that I can trust what this girl says. Now it's just the waiting game again. I'm not sure what I will do if the children's lawyers come back and say no. At this point, do I just give up and let my family disappear, or do I continue to fight for them?  I hate having so many variables and unknowns flying around me. It makes me uncomfortable to put it mildly. Time to sleep on it and pray to the Good Lord.

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 4

5/11/12

For the last couple of days, there hasn't been anything for me to do other than keep calling the supervisor. Each time I was met with her recording. Each time I left a message, each time she didn't return my call. Today I will be calling her supervisor, and if I don't hear from her come Monday afternoon, I will be calling her supervisor.

I feel like they are stone-walling me. I feel like, they think that if they don't return my phone calls they can continue on with their plans. Only when they reach their goal will they "conveniently call me back. I don't know why this worker doesn't want me to adopt these kids. She says they are up for adoption, but yet when I look on the states site for adoptable kids...they aren't there. So what the hell is going on? Are they not available yet? Do they already have someone in mind and just are forgoing the posting part? I looked at the siblings together section and there are like 70 sets of siblings waiting for adoption. Is she separating them, even though she told me there weren't? Doesn't matter, they aren't in there whether they are listed as single, or as siblings.

I'm getting tired of waiting. I'm not a patient person, waiting to take these classes, waiting for someone to call me back, waiting, waiting, waiting. I do not like being the one that is not in control. LOL, and here I'm trying to do the thing that has almost drove people over the edge with the not knowing. I guess this will be a test of my being. No matter how this turns out, I guess I will have learned something.

I don't get why they can't start the Home Study while we are going to the classes. If it is everyone's goal to get children placed in a stable home, why not do things a bit more streamlined? I know, I know, silly girl, this is the government I'm talking about. Nuff said. I also get that I'm sure if they just expedited every child they wouldn't be as certain on the adoptive parents. Then again maybe the whole thing behind the workers attitude is to see if I really am for real. What better way to get rid of the riff raff than to shoot them right out of the gate. Mom and dad didn't seem to want to go all the way with the requirements, maybe I wont either.

The one thing I don't understand is on top of telling me no, no, no. She did say, "well go ahead and get your foster license, if you want. What you do, is what you do." Not sure how to take this.  This whole fight for these kids started with her telling me that my state takes too long to get licensed, and I told her it didn't. This is the point that I started to hear the no, no, no's.

Ugh! So one phone call into the supervisor of the supervisor. Will call later this afternoon, to give her a  chance to call me back...and now I wait...some more.

Yesterday I told DH that I'm going to need his help in getting the house ready for our home study. I mean we have to do this anyhow, but now that there has been a time limit on it sort of, I'm going to need help. He says to me, that he will help me, but I need to do some stuff for him. WOW really? I'm already doing everything. The only thing he needs to do is show up for the classes on the next two Saturdays. One of the things that needs to be done around here is to clean out the clutter. I have for the most part cleared out anything that I didn't want, it's his turn now. So he says yea I'll do it, but each day you bring me a box to go through and before I play my game, get on the computer, or watch tv when I get home from work and I'll go through it all and consolidate. Then you can  find out what they are looking for in the perfect house, and start looking for the info on buying a house, and find us a house......How about you not stay the fuck up until 6am so you can get your ass up and help me with this stuff, rather than throw it all on my head. Seriously dude, this is the last straw. Damn I suppose I shouldn't put stuff like that in here considering what's going on, but hell I'm not perfect, and that just fricken pissed me off.

So off I go to go find funding, and find a house and find out what it is that they are looking for exactly in a adoptive family and home.  Oh and deal with the people from down south, and wash laundry, and clean, organized and declutter a house all by myself. ...then we hit the time when the kids come home. What does he get to do? Go to work, run around dealing with idiots for only 8 hrs, have a social life even if it is only at work for 8 hours, come home, play games, sit on computer, eat, watch tv, go to sleep. Wake up an hour maybe two hours before he has to go to work....kiss my ass.

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 3

5/8/12
I woke up today with a purpose. That purpose was to go kick some other states butt regarding getting custody of my cousins. My plans changed. I spent the entire morning talking with one of my favoritest relatives, who happens to be the brother to the relative who lost custody. Ya know to make it easier...relative who lost custody shall be further known as Pat. That's a whole lot easier to write. I call...let's see we shall give the name Jess to the brother. Jess and I haven't talked in about eight years due to long distance and all that stupid stuff that shouldn't keep family apart. We more than made up for it today. It was great, and totally cool that we picked right back up where we left off. I have to say the conversation with Jess was not all smiles and laughs though. Unfortunately the reason I called was to see if Jess was aware that the kids had been taken, and to see if Jess would have my back as I go off to fight the big bad wolf. A lot of the conversation was spent talking about the kids, and what transpired yesterday with my phone conversation with the worker. Some of it was spent talking about the strange coincidence of us both getting a rescue dog with only three legs. Our conversation was all over the map, and it felt so good.

I finally got off the phone and then ended up right back on the phone with my BFF. It was while talking to her that DH walked in to me explaining what was going on with "the case".
So now I'm talking to two of them explaining all that has transpired. DH jumps up and says, "fuck that! Were getting a lawyer and suing the shit outta that fuckin state!" And there you go folks. My Crazy Life is about to go straight through hell and back. Good thing I'm already crazy, because I don't think a sane person would come through this in one piece.

My first step once I finally got off the phone was to get back on the phone with the lovely worker from down there. It was not my first choice, I really did try to find who her supervisor was, but I had to call her to get the information so I can get things moving. Don't get me wrong here, this girl, and I do say girl because she sounds all of about twenty-three, actually seems like a nice person. However since she has now made me have to walk through hell and back...I don't like her. I got the information from her, and she was even nice enough to let me know that her super was in court until late afternoon. Why thank you ma'am and have a nice day. Called the super and left a message for her to call me back. Keeping fingers crossed that she does call me back. Then again maybe if she doesn't I can then have the excuse to call my worker back and have her send some fire on down there.

I left it at that and went about the rest of my day.

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 2

5/7/12 continued
So now rather than fostering these children, I'm now going to be adopting these three children. Gosh did I mention that the ages were 8, 5, and 3? Well there they are again if I already did. This worker, and I am giving her the benefit of doubt here, does have the children's welfare in mind, except for the fact that I AM NOT THE ENEMY HERE, AND YOU NEED TO STOP TREATING ME AS SUCH!!!!! Now I understand the people you have had to deal with in regards to these children, but please listen...I am not them, or of the same breed. Sorry my relative, love ya but you know it's true, and no I'm not a snob or anything people. Some things you just have to see to understand. 

So after going round and round with this lady for about two hours, I finally asked her point blank, "are you telling me that I can't adopt my own relative? Are you telling me that because I didn't come forward a month ago to get custody that I now, even though I'm their relative and just found out about this...am screwed?" Her answer was, "yes that's what I'm telling you". OOOOOO-EEEEE!  DH get ready for the ride, this broad pissed me off by lying to me and now she's telling me no. It's on baby, here I come. I might not have money, and I know this is gonna cost me, but I don't care. You do not tell me no in regards to my family. Ok seriously DH has no idea what's gone on other than the comment I made in reference to southern states being difficult in regards to this when he woke up today.

I got off the phone with her after she told me that she would have her supervisor contact me. I'm thinking she just said that to get me to stop bugging her. I immediately began looking up numbers here in my state and county. I honestly don't even remember who all I called except for two people. One was a worker from my county from the adoption department. God bless her soul. When she answered the phone she sounded like another over worked state employee. Tired and worn out. By the time I got a quarter of the way through with the story of my conversation with the other worker, she was much more alive. Ok, understatement there very alive she became. My first actual question for her was on one of my states laws regarding getting licensed for foster care if you are a relative since the other workers main concern was getting these kids in a stable adoptive home. The law goes like this, paraphrasing here...in certain circumstances a relative may take custody of a relatives child without getting licensed but must have a home visit and pass a background check. Upon getting the child the relative must work on obtaining their license. The worker here confirmed that that was true and that I read the law correct, and that the worker from down south was wrong. SCORE ONE FOR ME!!!! My worker (I'm just gonna call her that for now to keep things less confusing) told me to contact the other workers supervisor and give them her name and number and inform them that I am in the process of a home study. And that worker was concerned that my state takes too long. Paaaleeze. My worker referred me to another program that also provides the classes I need to become...You know? I have no idea why I have to take the classes or what they are about. Doesn't matter though...state says I have to do it so do it I will. The other person I spoke with was someone who provides support for grandparents and other relatives in gaining custody. She sent me a ton of information that I have yet to scratch the surface in reading. Ladies, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

I called some attorneys from the other state  to get a better understanding of the laws in that state. Yeah, I have yet to hear back from them. I then did some research on the Inter State Compact for the Placement of Children to find out just what was coming and to make sure I was aware of what they also required. It seemed pretty cut an dry. I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal out of it. I guess it all depends on how fast the states respond.  After dealing with the out of state worker I have had just about enough for the day, and it's time for some quiet. I'll pick up my sword again tomorrow.

When Mental Disorders Come Knocking

My family has a lot of mental issues, well I guess I should say my mom's side has the issues. Awhile back my therapist asked me why I kept finding myself surrounded by people who have mental issues. My answer was, " because it's all I know I guess?" I've been around it my whole life that it just seems part of me. She suggested I find "normal" people to hang out with. 

Well in theory that would be just fab, but here in my real world it's here to stay. I have an Aunt. I love this Aunt, but this Aunt suffers from Schizophrenia. I don't mean to make it seem like this is the plague or something, it's just what she was diagnosed with years ago. 

Now this Aunt for some reason seems to think that I am her best friend. Which I guess is ok, except when she has her episodes. Her constant calling is enough to drive the most calm, cool person crazy. 

Her latest thing is that someone keeps stealing her apartment keys and coming in there and staying there while she is in the hospital or something. They have also taken her car keys and they just sit out in her car. Now I fully believe that at one point in her life, that someone could have possibly squatted in her place while she was in the hospital. She hasn't always kept the best of company, although she is getting better at choosing who she associates with.  So this fear is probably based on past events.

The subject before this was the cat I gave her years ago. Miss Priss. Yes that is what I named the cat, as she was the most prissy thing I had ever seen. Anyhow, she got rid of the cat many years ago, but she was insisting that she had seen her. Maybe, maybe not, probably not. She also seemed to have forgotten that I was the one who gave her the cat, but insisted that the cat was being chased by an evil mean man and she was so matted and starving. 

It is very hard to get voicemails and phone calls from her when she is in this place. I know that her thinking is a bit off, well maybe very off, but I just want to scream at her and tell her the actual events. I know deep down it wont help, but damn it! And currently I am on the phone with her as she sits in the hospital. The cycle never ends. 

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 1

5/7/2012
I'm starting this post now, so that I can give you an idea of how crazy I really am. You see, I have three kids, Princess 17, Jokester 7, Superman 4. I also have three dogs, Henry, Baby-girl, Smokey. Then there is myself, and DH, and for the time being DH's oldest son. That's nine living breathing moving things under one roof, and my house is SMALL!!

So on to why I'm really crazy. Last week I was informed that a family member and spouse  had lost custody and parental rights to their three kids. Now I'm not sure where I got this deep family thing ingrained in me. I mean I don't really see my family much except during holidays, and even then it's a crap shoot, but regardless, I got it. Family is in trouble, family steps in. I am going for custody of my family. There I said it, and yes dad, your daughter is completely off her rocker. Now my family members who reads this, can you help me break it too him??? Just kidding, by the time this gets published he will for sure already know, but put in a good word for me anyhow...I'm gonna need it.

At the time of me writing this, I have no idea what I can and can't say, so I'm going to be as vague as I can, but still give you an idea as to what is going on, or for that matter if anything really becomes of this. For starters, this will be the second time I came to this family members "rescue" regarding a kid. The first occurrence was thirteen years ago when I took in the oldest of the four kids for a short period (the other three were not born yet). I'm not a stranger to taking in kids unfortunately, it's just never been three at one time.

Now I'm going on a rant, just thought I would give you fair warning. WTF is wrong with people? I get that some people fall on hard times and things go terribly wrong. What I don't get is the dumb ass's that continue to fuck up and just keep on running till the shit hits the fan so to speak. These are children you are scarring for life with your stupidity... KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF ALREADY!!! We are getting tired of cleaning up your messes. Don't get me wrong here, I will always do what must be done in this regards, but watching the train wreck happen over and over again kills me inside. Just fuckin stop it, please.

Ok rant done for now, I think. On with the story or lack of story I guess. There is a problem here that is going to be hard to over come. Well at least I think it will, you see I don't have the first idea on how to go about this. Well I guess I should say to make it permanent I guess. The other two time's that I have had a child placed with me were a bit different than this time.  The first time was with the older sibling of these three. At the time the house he lived in was condemned. The state placed the child with me while the house was cleaned up. There weren't any questions asked, the worker just said come and pick up the child. (please keep in mind it wasn't so cut and dry, just trying to be vague to protect people here) The second time was when a family member of DH's lost custody of their kid. Once again Child Protection came knocking on the door, once again I opened the door, and once again there were no questions asked. Was told the child would be coming to my house on the school bus. I'm thinking it's not gonna be like that this time.
The other problem is...I don't know where these poor kids are. I know they are in a state down south, and that is all. I lost the family members number when my phone committed suicide, so I have no way of contacting them. The oldest sibling might have a way, but I guess it's a crap shoot there also. Think it might be the old call a friend and leave a message there for them routine.

So today I placed calls to my state, and to the state that the kids are in. I don't know where the kids actually are other than the state they are in. It's a really big state, and I just called the capital and it actually paid off. The lady kinda mumbled the county they were in, and gave me their workers number. Now I mean no offense here at all cuz I'm sure this isn't an across the board kinda thing, but what the hell is with you southern states not giving relatives their kin? This lady, OMG I can't even talk about it yet she pissed me off so bad! It's ok though I can do this. Dealt with a different difficult worker some years ago from another southern state, I've had practice now. Time to make a few choice calls since this went from me being a foster parent to an adoptive parent in oh I'd say an hour.

Thank You Texas!

I have to chuckle about this, just a bit. One of those inside funnies. My girl Texas you may not want to read this one, based on your response to this specific topic. I'm giving you warning girl, and I thank you for giving me a thought that wont get the hell outta my head.  Jeez, like I don't have enough things flying through my noggin.


Just a quick mention here, the following is my opinion and my opinion only. If you are easily offended ya might not wanna read it, or you can put on your big girl/boy pants and suck it up. It really isn't too bad...I promise.


So moving on here. The topic of hoarding came up yesterday, and it really got me thinking since my life has strangely been affected by this problem. Back in the day these people were called packrats. (Holy crap!I so did not know this even existed. Guess you learn something new everyday.) I think the term hoarding lumps people with many different problems in to one category. I don't know, maybe the doctors were too lazy to figure out politically correct names for them all. I personally say screw political correctness. You need to call it what it is.  By the way I found this site on political incorrectness and some of the terms and reasons were funny as all hell.


Oh yes, back to the topic. I mentioned that hoarding had in a way affected my life, and these are my observations when dealing with these situations. Please keep in mind I do not have a medical degree or any such thing along that lines. I do know that there is a mental issue that is going on with people who actually have this problem, and I by no means am making light of that fact. However, I think it's played the mental angle way more that it should be played these days to save face. Call it an excuse if you will.


My mom was a hoarder. She was not an extreme hoarder in fact we kinda joked about her being a packrat. She held onto every single piece of paper. When I say every piece I mean every piece.  These pieces of paper were kept in boxes and bags, so they weren't just laying around creating random clutter. The boxes and bags were kept in their own little room, out of sight from anyone. My mom was not organized at all, and since I was never taught it I too am about as organized as a tornado. I however do not hoard. In fact I love throwing things away. On the occasions where her papers would escape the room I would go around and collect them put them in a box or bag and put it in it's home. I still do this as I have no idea what to do with such stuff. Her other problem was with food. This woman would buy enough food to feed an army. There were only two of us, and there was a lot of waste since we never knew what was in the fridge or freezer. There were a couple of times where I would clean out the fridge, and I must say it was not pretty. In fact the first time I cleaned it out I found Halloween and Easter candy that was about six years old. I asked her why it was still in there and her response was, "I might use it to make desserts someday"...yikes! We almost got in a fight when I tossed it out. Other than that her problem didn't really affect our lives.


My step-grandma was also a hoarder, but to a different degree. Let me just say that if she was still living I would not mention her as my grandma, I would never do anything to embarrass or hurt her, and the same applies to my mom. My grandma was an impulse shopper, and really loved those infomercials. She also collected things like purses and stuff, and always had a collection of animals. Now her situation was unique in the fact she had five other people living in her home. It was also a huge part of the problem. I sincerely believe if she had lived alone her house would never have gotten in the condition it did. She had a lot of medical issues and moving and getting around the house was very hard for her to do, so she had to rely on the people living with her to take care of the house. The problem was that all but one of the people were straight up lazy, and the one that wasn't lazy had his own physical limitations at the time. The other people in the house would do things like rather than bring the garbage out to the alley, they would just throw it down in the basement where grandma couldn't go. This continued through out the house. If there was a room she couldn't go to it was filled with trash. Pretty soon it took over the whole house and she was overwhelmed. Her house also became condemned. Without going into great deal, lets just say it took about half a dozen people or so eight hours a day for two weeks to clean the house out. I was one of them. I threw stuff away like a crazy woman, and I raised hell with the other members of the family who lived there. I threatened their lives if the house ever became like that again. I was pissed beyond belief. I was grabbing people by the hair and shoving their faces in the filth and screaming like a banshie. I can get very violent to get my point across when the need arises. We managed to get the house to pass inspection after the two weeks, but there was still plenty of work to do. Her brother by the way was also an extreme hoarder. He had paths going through his house, and his house was condemned and torn down.


I used to work in fire and water damage restoration, and while employed there I occasionally came across houses where there was hoarding. You would be amazed at the amount of hoarding that goes on behind closed doors. One house that was owned by an elderly couple was right up there on the top of the list. The basement was jammed packed with stuff. The only thing accessible was the washer and dryer. We blew a fuse with our equipment and it took us an hour to get to the fuse box. There wasn't an empty spot in the house. The piles of stuff made it a very delicate dance to move around the house. Fortunately the fire damage did not affect the basement, as it was we had to go through every single drawer, cabinet, and pile, clean it and put it back exactly as we found it. We went WAY over budget on that house, and when the insurance company questioned us about it, all we had to do was show them pictures for them to understand why it took so long to clean.


So I guess my opinion on this hoarding thing is this. Some people do actually have a mental problem that tells their brain they must keep, keep, keep. Others are just plain lazy, and use the title as a way to ignore the fact that they are indeed lazy, and are just not taking responsibility. I consider these deplorable, and find them disgusting. I try not to judge, but it is what it is, and there is no other name for it. Others are taken advantage of by other family members and allow them to store their stuff while they go about living in a clean house. There are too many different variants of what leads up to hoarding, and to clump it all together in one tidy little word is not right. You have to look at it and call it for what it's worth. If your a lazy pig, guess what, your a lazy pig, not a hoarder. If your family is taking advantage of you, your not a hoarder, and you need to get those big person panties on and tell them to get  their shit out cuz they are destroying your quality of living. If indeed you do have a mental issue, you really need to find the help and support. If you are someone who just got overwhelmed you need to swallow your pride and ask your community or family for help. If you are the family or friend of someone who hoards you need to step up and be their support system, because nobody should have to live like that.


I have come to the realization on why I hate housework. I have been cleaning up after people since I was seven.Thinking people should go clean up their own frickin mess. Like that would ever happen.
Well I guess that wasn't too bad, right Texas? I know you got this far you silly girl, luv ya.

Why.....?

Yesterdays post was emotionally draining and left me physically whooped. So to better lighten the mood, here we go...

Why is it when I have my slippers on, there is always someone trying to walk in them... with me? It makes it very difficult to walk up the stairs when you are stepping in my slipper. If you need a pair I will gladly get you your own pair. Keep your paws outta my slippers so I do not continue to stumble around the house looking like I'm shitfaced . I don't care if it seems to provide entertainment for the family.  Thank you in advance Smokey and Superman.

Why is it when I'm in the middle of some serious typing, the keyboard on my laptop suddenly decides to have a hissy fit? I really need the spacebar and the back button. Especially the back button since I seem to go backwards more than forwards thanks to the non working space button. If you weren't connected to my computer I would have, without a thought flung you across the room. Were you having a bad day yesterday, you seem fine today? Devious little thing you are. See I told you it liked to fuck with me.

Why Smokey, why are you so irritating? This constant licking and scratching is driving me nuts! There is no cause for you to do this. With the constant thump, thump, thump that you do you should have been named Thumper. Never mind the thrp... thrp... thrp sound you make when you constantly lick yourself. Wow you know your a bad speller when you have trouble spelling a non-word. Different story...let's not go there just yet.

Why Superman, when I'm at my last straw with you, you somehow manage to get a chuckle out of me? I guess the real question would be how do you do it. You must have some inner radar system that warns you that you have entered enemy territory or something, and beat a hasty retreat with saying something cute as hell. If I make it through your teenage years alive it will be a miracle. Y'all better start praying for me now.

Why DH do you let a good ole stinky whopper go while in bed, and then proceed to cover my head with the blankets? You seriously must have a death wish. I will gladly grant that wish if you continue to do this to me. Just remember I know where you sleep my love, and for the most part I am awake while you sleep. Hmm, then again you are awake while I sleep. Must make sure I have a strategic plan in force before proceeding. 

Why Princess is it that after I have showed you time and time again how to clean the fricken bathroom you persist on doing it wrong? Yes, I am a control freak, what of it? One of these days I shall just lock you in there till you get it right. I know you can do this, you do after all get straight A's at school without batting an eye, so I know your smart enough to figure this out.

Why Jokester do you have to be so brutally honest with me. Have you not had any of your dads DNA of charm pass to you. Walking up to me and with a laugh pronounce, "wow mom your butt is big", is not considered humor. I brought you into this world my young son, I can take you out. Now people, like I would really hurt my kids, it's all empty threats. Unfortunately they have figured this out. Snap.

Speaking of dads charm, Honey cracking the joke of, "your butts so big that the moon has to orbit it because of the gravitational pull" WAS   NOT   FUNNY. I know you thought it hilarious and cracked yourself up, and when you told your mom she tried not to chuckle but you had better start sleeping with one eye open my dear. If you don't know what I mean refer to the question about you above.

Thank you my family for noticing when I'm having a bad day and stop to give me a hug and tell me you love me. While you are the straw that broke the camels back, you are the glue to put him back together.

Thank you family for telling me dinner was GREAT even when I know I bombed with it.  The fact that it took you two hours to eat it boys was a dead give away.

Thank you my wonderful family for providing the chaos that makes up my CRAZY LIFE, I wouldn't have it any other way. Umm second thought, knock it off or I will run away. Far, far away.

Thank you family for loving me even when I'm not perfect. Yes I admitted it, I am not perfect. DH you know have written proof that I said this. If you use this against me, you better start sleeping with both eyes open.

I love you. 


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Post Christmas: The Recovery

     Wow! I survived Christmas! Nobody ended up in the hospital, presents all were wrapped, and not lost and given to the right persons, everybody ate till their hearts were content. I'm so glad it's over! Now don't get me wrong, I love Christmas. Just hate all the crap that comes with it. You know what I'm talking about right...the running around frantic looking for the items on the list, the extra grocery shopping for the holiday meals, the extra cooking. The best one is trying to fit all the extra garbage in the garbage container so you don't get charged extra from the environmental waste collector. A side note here, who decided to give them this title? I'm sorry it's garbage, and they are garbage collectors. Ok, back to surviving Christmas.

     Princess got her computer, while we tried to find a laptop for her, it was not to be. She did end up with a computer that blows DH's, and my computers away. Totally want to give her my piece of crap and take the new puter. Thinking she might not like that, but I guess I should be happy for the fact I no longer have to share my puter with her.

     Superman got his race track, in fact he got two. I hesitated to get him these since it has pieces, and Superman and pieces just don't go together. If you look at any room in my house you will find a piece or two to various things. This would be Superman. He has this thing where he likes to play with a piece of say a track and turn it into a gun. Said gun will make it through the house while he shoots various bad guys, and when he's done shooting the bad guy he will drop the "gun" wherever he is and move on to something else. Usually finds a better "gun" and goes from there. Therefore my house is covered in pieces of "guns".

      Jokester was ecstatic that he got a table top pool table...finally a pool table. This kid has been bugging us for one since he was two. He calls it shoot ball, so for four years I have been hearing, "mom can we get a shoot ball table?" The answer has always been no because we don't have the room, and they are too expensive. This kid has done almost nothing but play "shoot ball" for three days can you say very happy?

     DH received big cups. Now don't go thinking something dirty here, cuz it isn't what it sounds like. You see we have some left over large coffee cups from the restaurant, and he wanted us to grab some more of them. We looked high and low in the house for these big cups, and they were no where to be found. So I took the boys out shopping on the hunt for big cups. Five stores later I finally found the perfect big cups, so we quick bought them and brought them home and wrapped them before DH got home from work. I unfortunately forgot a vital piece of the whole gift giving thing. I forgot to tell Superman that presents were supposed to be a surprise. The next day Superman walks up to DH and proudly proclaims, "guess what dad? We got you big cups!" Oh snap! Mental note either make sure you tell Superman to keep a secret, or don't bring him with. DH did have to wait a week to get his "big cups", but he sure enjoyed the looks on the boys faces when he opened the present.

     The family finally got a Wii for Christmas. I have been putting this off for some time. Why I don't know, but I did. Probably had to do with the price or something. So for three days the family has been playing the Wii. I have never played this before, and I should have known something would happen, and it did. You see I have this fierce competitive streak in me, and everything I do I have to do the best. This stupid streak has resulted in me totally messing up my arm. OMG it hurts so bad! I'm thinking I can use this to my advantage somehow though. Like, "honey can you do this or that for me? My arm hurts too much." Oh yeah I see a plan forming here.

     I hope your Christmas was as good as mine, and I hope you all survived it in one piece. Just remember you can sit back and relax for another year before we all have to subject ourselves to the craziness that makes up Christmas. In the mean time, grab yourself some chocolate and indulge yourself...you deserve it.

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Attack of the Laundry Monster!

     

     Lately it seems as if there is a little monster in my house that creates extra laundry. I'm not sure where this little monster came from, but I'm not liking him one bit!  He can just go back to where he came from.

Now we have five people here in the house plus three dogs. There is myself the Queen, my DH, the sixteen year old Princess (she really doesn't act the part, but since I'm the Queen she gets the title anyhow), the six year old Jokester,  and the four year old Superman. Then we have Henry the Beagle who's two, Baby Girl (B.G.) the three legged Rotti/Dobbi  mix who we found wandering, she's eight, and last but not least,  Smokey the Cocker Spaniel who is also eight. He is B.G.s life long friend who we didn't find wandering, but ended up finding anyhow.  Very crazy story there for another time.
 

    Anyhow back to the laundry monster. Usually there is three loads of laundry each week. Princess washes her own so I'm only doing laundry for four. However lately I have been doing five loads of laundry every four or five days, so this means I must have a laundry monster lurking some place in the house. I hate laundry, and now it's taking over my life. I guess I don't mind the washing part or the folding part, but for some reason I have issues with the delivery part. I hate putting the laundry away, therefore everyone's clothes are usually to be found in a basket somewhere.
 

     To help me with all this extra laundry the monster is creating for me I have started making my own laundry soap. It's kinda a pain in the tush, but we are by no means well off, and anyway I can save a buck or two is a good thing. The soap works fairly well, doesn't leave a perfume smell, and usually I don't have to use dryer sheets for the static cling. Although now that it's winter I have found I need to use them since it's so dry out. The one draw back is that it doesn't remove tough stains, and after about a month I will have to use regular detergent to remove the greying from the whites. This could be because I made a very concentrated soap. If I added more water to the soap I'm sure this would go away. It costs me about $4.00 to make this and it will last me around three months. Though at the rate the laundry monster is creating the piles I'm sure it wont last as long.

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