Does it Hurt?

Ready...set...go! I will finish this post if it kills me. Forget the four other ones that are waiting for their turn at life. This one shall survive.


That being said, moving forwards, cuz backwards just plain sucks. I mean who wants to look backwards, it is after all in the past. Forwards is the future and new adventures. Yep that's the way to go new adventures.


So I've had a bit of writers block lately. Not sure what the heck is going on, but thanks for being patient with me.


Adventure, yes that's what I was talking about. So this year I get to turn the big 40. I don't want to. I shall resist with all my being. It is after all a family trait to stop ageing around whatever age sounds better than the current age. I must carry on the tradition. 


So lately I have been kinda down about turning the big one, and near as I can figure I seem to be going through a bit of a mid-life crisis. I had one when I was twenty-nine too. Seems to be a theme with me. Why? I don't know since age never seemed important to me ever before these two occasions.  


Any-hoo, I've  been thinking that I need a re-vamp on my look. Something to...I don't know, get me outta my frump. So this summer I finally got the tattoo I've been wanting for like...ever. Ok, it's not the one I wanted forever, but I've wanted another one forever. Then I decided I wanted my nose pierced. Well I guess you could say I've been thinking about it for some years and I just finally did it last weekend. 


Here is my experience. After waiting forever it was finally Princes's turn to get her ears re-pierced. Took all of five to ten minutes. I have no idea what the other people were getting done, but they sure took along time. 


It is now my turn. Because I can't wear earrings since well they make my ears itch and swell up like there's no tomorrow, I have to get titanium. Oh yeah, can't go the cheap way with me. Just so you know they don't use a piercing gun to do this. They use some kind of needle. I really don't know what it looks like because she hid it very well from my sight. Very smart lady. 


She was super great at making sure it was in the right spot. We sat there and made faces at each other while she determined the correct spot. Hey this girl is fun! She made her little dot, and asked me what I thought...looked good. Let's do this! 


She then took out the grabber thingy. It's used to grab your ear or nose or for that matter whatever part she needs to grab so they can do the piercing. She was totally awesome about making sure she wasn't pinching me or to make sure it wasn't too tight. I thought to myself, "how nice". Little did I know...


She positions herself once again so I can't see what she's doing and tell's me to look up. Umm ok, so I do. Says to me, "here we go, are you ready." Heck yeah!


Then it happened, it really happened. You see there are a couple of things that she deliberately decided not to tell me. I'm sure it's because she learned in the past not to say anything, cuz if she does mention these things she wont be making money. 


I'm not sure if I can even describe it to you, but I will do my best. At first I felt a little bitty pin prick on my nose, and I thought to myself, this isn't too bad. Then she proceeded to apply the pressure. Not feeling so good no more. I'm thinking, holy crap this hurts and when the fuck is it going to end? She reassures me that she's almost done, and it's a good thing I have skinny nostrils. Ok that last thing kinda got my mind off the pain for oh like a nano second. Skinny nostril? Oh I get it, less pain. Not falling for that one bit cuz this hurts like hell and I have a super high pain threshold.


I'm not sure at what point it happened, but my eyes started this super duper watering thing. There was no stopping it. I willed them to stop, but they refused to listen to me. I couldn't even open the bloody things. Then something started happening that I have never experienced in my life. My sinuses got jealous of my watering eyes, and decided to put on a show of their own. Keep in mind my head was tipped backwards (see she knew) eyes are gushing, and all of a sudden my sinuses let go like a river that's been held back by a dam and the dam just freakin broke, big time. Now I'm drowning, just great. So much for getting my nose pierced, I'm gonna be dead and it will all be for not. By the way, where the hell does all that stuff come from in your sinuses? 


Guess what? During the floods that occurred from my eyes and sinuses I forgot to concentrate on the pain of the needle. She moves out of the way and tells me she's done, and asks if I'm ok. Then as a side note says, oh yeah the eyes and sinuses tend to water a bit.  What I'm thinking and what comes out of my mouth are two very, very different things. What I'm thinking is, "Ya think? Holy Crap what the hell was that, and why the hell didn't you tell that was going to happen I could of at least had a Kleenex or something to help with the floods if I could  see you I would beat the crap outta you, your so lucky I cant see anything. You better get me out of here and have me pay before I come to my senses hello big ole run-on sentence. 


What came out of my mouth was, "Wow! Do you have a Kleenex or something so I can wipe my eyes? That didn't hurt nearly as bad as I thought it would. (<-WTH?)Hey let me check it out in the mirror! Sweet! Alright lets pay up here so I can feed the kids".


Dang this is turning into a pretty long post here now isn't it? Too bad. It's my story and I'll make it as long as I want, so there.


So the instructions are to clean it twice a day, and soak it in a sea salt water mix for five minutes each day. No problem. Someone just slap me and put me out of my misery please. I have no idea how I keep finding myself in these situations. (Oh yeah, mid-life crisis) Picture this if you can, a measuring cup filled to the top with salt water, sitting on the kitchen counter. Got that picture? Good. Ok now picture someone trying to soak a nose in said measuring cup. Oh yeah, you have to get down and stick your nose in the water, but still be able to see the time. You sure don't want your nose in there longer than needed, after all five minutes of being a dork is way more time spent than you want. 


You might think it's pretty easy to just stand there with your nose in a cup of water. It is not. You have to be careful that the water doesn't creep into your eye. Salt water, eye...very bad. Then you have to be careful that it doesn't start running every where else. The biggie though is to remember not to inhale through said nose that is now buried in a cup of salt water.  I think you get the picture. 


So here I'm thinking for some reason that this has to be done for only a week. Not. Princess informed me tonight that it's for 4-6 weeks. I'm not very happy about that. Why? Cuz it's a pain in the ass, and the more I mess with it the more swollen and sore it gets. 


Now heaven forbid you actually have a sneezing attack the day after you get your nose pierced like I did. OMG! It was a flashback to the pain of her putting the needle in my nose! Now to figure out how to blow the damn thing, which is by now a huge throbbing mess on your face that's covered with snot. Now you have to watch out for the itching too, cuz you know as soon as your nose is hurting and sore your gonna get an itch. Paperclip works ok, fingernails...not so good. 


So for all my peoples who been asking if it hurt and should they get their nose pierced. I say, HELL YEAH, GO FOR IT! You only live once right? Sides it doesn't hurt at all.  

I Flew to the Moon

Oh wow, I just had my six year old smoke my butt at pool.  Not once, but twice!. Ok granted it was on a table top pool table, but really? I must re-evaluate my pool playing strategy. Like perhaps play on my knees so I'm sort of level with the table, or put it on a taller table so he has to be on his tippy toes. I told him that he can't be smoking my butt since I've been playing longer, he replies with,"maybe you just can't play". Ouch, touche my young son. I shall beat you soon just you wait.

Well I got everything re-arranged for the HUGE food and water dish for BG. Yeah, I hate my house some days. I just cleaned out the pantry not too long ago, and it is a disaster again. Seems somebody (Princess) doesn't like to put things back where they belong. Now like I mentioned before my house is very small, but my kitchen...well it's micro. Since I don't have that many cabinets I store all the big pots and cookers in the pantry. It is a very tight fit, and if one thing is out of place, there isn't room for what is actually supposed to go there. I must now re-arrange my entire pantry no thanks to Princess. I wont even mention the coat closet that I went to put something in and couldn't even get in there. Sigh...I give up. That is until I get pissed enough and start ripping everything apart to fix the problem. Never mind the fact that while I'm doing this I will be throwing a spectacular tantrum. I just might need a time-out, or if I was a drinking woman, a nice glass of something good.

Superman came in the kitchen and says to me, "hey what smells so good?" "Honey mustard chicken, why does it smell good?" "Oh yeah, smells wonderful." I hope they don't like it. It's Hamburger Helper, or rather Chicken Helper. My ego would be severely bruised if I'm out cooked by a box. Come to think of it, what got into me? I never ever buy this kind of food, well except Mac and Cheese sometimes. Must be slipping or something, or just had some leftover chicken I had no idea on what to do with. Yeah that's it, I'm sticking with that story. It really didn't have anything to do with me being lazy, not at all.

Update: Superman did not like it so I guess I'm still number one around here. He did mention before he even took a bite that it smelled so good he didn't want to eat it all gone. Guess smell and taste were on different tracks today.

BG has this really irritating habit of when she wants to be petted she will nudge your arm. She is currently making it very hard to type. She apparently wants some pets. I better give her a pet before she starts giving me her paw which she does if she isn't getting her way. She has a big ole paw, and she seems to have good coordination to smacking me in the face with her nails. Yeah, this habit is going to end soon. People will start asking what the hell happened to me when they see my face all scratched up. I of course will tell them I got in a fight with a bear or some other wild animal. Kind of like when a bill collector called me and I told them I had flown to the moon. The dumb chick actually believed me, and I never heard from them again. Sometimes the stories have to be so unbelievable to be believable I guess.

Somehow I have managed to hurt one of my toes. It happens to be the middle toe, so I can secretly flip off everyone who pisses me off. Hehe. I don't have any idea what I did, it just started hurting, and it hurts really bad. Almost like it's out of joint or something. So I think tonight calls for just putting my feet up and doing a whole bunch of nothing. Maybe catch a flick on Netflix or something. Now I just need some good munchies. Any volunteers?