Kale? Really? Well Ok Then.

I have decided that it is time to get healthier and loose some weight...ok like a lot of weight. About 60 lbs or so. Yep ya'll I'm a tubby. I usually don't eat a lot of junk food, and we usually don't have much processed food here. Most of what we eat is homemade straight from my heart. Yeah right, it is homemade though. So with that being said...


I have a pop addiction. Yeah big time. I love my pop, which is weird since I don't like to put a bunch of crap I can't pronounce in my body. I guess it is what it is, and it's bad for my health and body so it must go. Problem...I have no idea what to replace it with. I can manage to drink tea, but only with a ton of sugar( kinda defeats the purpose there). I hate the taste and smell of coffee. OMG when DH makes his espresso's I really want to puke. Water...it's so...blah. The only time that I can actually suck water down is when it's hotter than a witches tit (where did that saying come from? I just can't picture a witch's tit being hot, can you?) outside and then that is the only thing that will quench my thirst as long as there are tons of ice cubes.
Diet anything is for sure out. I do not like the taste of it, nor will I allow myself to grow attached to the taste of something artificial. I have a hard enough time getting used to the taste of stuff that's actually good for me. Juice is not cost effective enough, and shouldn't be sucked down like there's no tomorrow anyhow. So as you can see...I'm screwed.


Moving on...a couple of months ago, well I guess sometime before Christmas I saw a documentary about some guy doing a 60 day juice fast. It got me thinking, and that's about all it did. When I told DH about it he on the other hand was like, "hell yeah, why not?" So I found him a juicer. Then I got him the recipe for the Mean Green Juice. Then I got him the ingredients. Can you guess what came next? Yep, I made the juice for him. Can't you see it's all about the patterns here people?


This recipe had Kale in it, not a lot, but it had it. I don't know about you, but Kale is not my thing. At all. It stinks when you juice it and it is so strong and, and unpleasant tasting. The next time I made him a batch of this juice, I cut the amount of Kale in half and it still overpowered everything but the ginger. 


So I have established the fact that I do not like Kale. I don't care if it is the new super food to eat, and will wipe out every disease on earth. (Damn would't that be awesome?)  I do not like it. With that being said...


Last night, or rather early this morning I decided to try making my own veggie chips. So I looked it up on the good ole net, cuz that's were it's all at right. I found a recipe for carrot chips or rather strips, and since that's all I really had in the house that's what I made. So at 12:51am I started making them. Turned out pretty good too, and DH liked them. Think I will do things a bit different next time.


Now this brings me on to today. Guess what I'm making? Come on try and guess. Re-read over the last couple of paragraphs. Did you figure it out yet? Jeez...I'm making Kale chips with fresh shredded Parmesan. Bwahahaha! Guess what? They are pretty damn good, for Kale. I wouldn't call them chips though like everyone out there is calling them. Just cuz something is dried out and crunches don't mean it's a chip. You sure could never dip these things. They are fricken dried leaves for crying out loud, but I'll eat them. In fact, I can't seem to stop eating them. If DH don't get his butt up soon there wont be any for him to try out.


Here's what I did if you would like to try these:


I only made a small amount just in case they were gross.


four stems of kale
olive oil spray
sea salt
fresh Parmesan


Pre-heat oven to 350F


Wash and make sure you dry the kale well. Very important that it's dry.


Remove the leaves from the stems and place on a cookie sheet that has been sprayed with olive oil.


Spray the leaves with the olive oil


Take the sea salt and with your fingers sprinkle on the leaves of kale.


Shred some fresh parmesan and sprinkle lightly on each kale leaf.


Bake in heated oven for about twelve minutes. They will be done when the edges dry out and they feel crispy. 

There's "Someone" in My Kitchen!

One of the things that just makes my eyes go crossed and steam come out my ears is when "someone" decides to go into the kitchen and create stuff. Now don't get me wrong this "someone" is actually a very good creator of edible things. I love it when he creates!


I however do not like the mess that is left over. It is gigantic! It is indescribable. One can only, upon entering the kitchen, just stand there with mouth gaping wide, as you take in the destruction. I'm talking food splattered on the other side of the kitchen and on the ceiling type of disaster. 


Lately this "someone" (DH) has decided that he want's to start juicing veggies and fruit. Sweet! Way cool! I have nothing against getting healthier. I would do it too, but I just don't like the consistency. Thinking I might be the smoothie kinda girl. 


So aanyhoo, awhile ago, I went out and found a couple of juicers at the thrift store. (Yes I am a thrift store junkie) I bought them both just in case. Apparently the person who had them before was a lazy person, because it seriously took me three hours to clean these things. Glad they were so cheap or they would have been tossed within the first half hour. 


So I made the first couple of drinks for DH, I made sure I clean the stupid juicers till they shined. After all the work I already put into them I sure had better not find them looking like that again. 


Then that day came. That day when someone decided to make his own juices. It was a happy, sad day for me. Happy because I no longer had to make these these seriously huge pain in the butt drinks, sad because Somebody was in the kitchen, and I wasn't even getting a steak made for me. The mess was so not worth it. I felt seriously ripped off. 


The mess turned out to be everything I imagined, and then some. I have to say he did manage to get the equipment into the sink, however the rinsing and washing was left to Princess and I. I hate juicers! I will be just as healthy eating a whole fricken apple and not have the mess. He made about four of the drinks, and realized what a pain in the ass they were to make.  


While it's a good thing to do things to get your body healthier, sometimes doing things the old fashioned way is best. Well I guess that is if you don't want steam and my eyes going crossed you will go the clean old school way. Cuz good golly miss molly, I am bone tired of cleaning up after peoples. Cheers to you on getting healthy again!