The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 9

June 29th
I called the kids social worker today and got her answering machine. I then called her supervisor and she answered. I explained that I was wondering if we could set-up a skype session with the kids and big brother, and also wanted to know about any progress there might have been.

She of course said that it wasn't up to her on the skype session, but that she would bring the idea to the other people who have the say so. She said the kids were adjusting well to their foster home. I specifically asked about the child who was diagnosed with RAD, to get a feel as to how well the child was adjusting. It sounds like the ability to adjust well is there, but of course there are going to be problems for awhile. In fact while talking to the supervisor there was no mention of the horrible problems that these kids seem to have or be diagnosed with. Strange. When they were trying to scare me off they made it seem like these kids were so horrible and hard to handle, but now that they actually were looking at me as a serious possibility to place these kids...not hardly a mention. I asked the supervisor if they were for real considering  us as adoptive parents, or if they were just telling me stuff to appease me so they didn't have to deal with me, and she said no that this is for real, and very quietly and quickly mentioned in an off handed manner that she didn't know what to do if this fell through as this was the last chance, mumble,  mumble...kids. She also mentioned that the foster home the kids were in is only a long term home. It seems to me that they really don't have anyone who is willing to adopt all three of them, and I am the last chance. I really hope we pass the homestudy.

July 13th
I called the worker to see how things were going, and to ask a couple of questions. I left a message for her, and she called me back a couple of hours later. That is a first! Hallelujah! Usually it takes them a week to call me back. I think it might have been because she needed more info from me, but I like to think that it's cuz I'm in on this. 
I wanted to know what sizes the kids were wearing, and what was their favorite things to play with, and favorite colors. She said that she would have to talk to the foster mom on the sizes, but that the oldest is very girly girl, the boy is infatuated with CARS, and the youngest is happy with whatever. Not something I would associate with RAD, but what the hell do I know. The boy was able to have a pool party for his birthday, and they have been going to camp, and doing lots of activities this summer. A chance to be real kids, how wonderful! Once again no mention of the sever issues these kids was mentioned. Guess they are done trying to scare me away for now. The worker also seemed super surprised when I mentioned that we were almost done setting up the house for the kids. Not sure why she would be surprised as everyone keeps telling me to get ready like they will be dropping them off when they do the homestudy. 

I kinda feel like I could never live up to the funness of their foster home. It seems like a very nice place to live, and they have been able to send them to so many different programs and stuff. How am I ever to compete with that? I mean here we are just regular people, and find it hard enough to figure out how to go fishing. I have no idea how to plan this stuff out. I feel like I kinda suck. It sounds like the foster home is perfect, and we are very far from that. How are we supposed to pass the homestudy if we can't even begin to compete with that?

I have moments too, that this might be more than I can handle. I think to myself, "holy crap! Three more kids to take care of, am I freaking insane?!" I like my life as it is, but sometimes God takes us very far from the path we think we were supposed to be on. He really seems to have fun with me for some reason. What can I do but keep on putting one foot in front of the other. I've learned that panicking or complaining about it sure isn't going to solve anything, so I might as well make the best of it, and try to have fun while I stumble through life. A very wise lesson I have somehow managed to learn. I wish I could pass it on to friends, but it's a lesson you have to come upon by yourself. 

Well according to the worker, the information she needed was the last of it, and the paperwork would be getting sent to my state. Here's keeping fingers crossed.

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 8

5/29/2012

So I gave the regional supervisor a whole week to call me back. I didn't hear a thing from her. I decided that I would call her tomorrow since today was spent recovering from the crazy amount of cooking and prep I did yesterday. Just was pretty out of it today, and not in the mood to deal with bureaucratic bs.

In the middle of making dinner tonight I got a phone call from Texas. It was the regional supervisor finally calling me. Now this lady had that southern drawl I had been expecting from all the others. She was so sweet sounding I just wanted to reach through the phone and give her a big hug. Oops getting back to the point. So she tells me that they are sending the papers to the judge to expedite my home study. PROGRESS FINALLY!!! I guess it pays to make a call to headquarters and send them on the war path. When 1+1 isn't making 2 it's time to investigate what's going on. So very sorry I cause a stink...naw, no I'm not made you do your job.

Ya know just as I sit down to write this, the family thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread. It is now two days later, let's see if I can finish this. I sent my best girls, and DH a text telling them the good news. I called the wonderful lady who got me started with the classes and has been giving me little hints of advice when dealing with Texas. Got a big ol' WA-hoo out of her, and of course had to tell her how it all came about.

Now here is the reality setting in...I have a home study to do. I have no idea when it will begin, but I guess I will find out when the call comes. In the mean time...I gots a whole lotta work to do here. I have been cleaning things out like a crazy person around here. I can finally see the floor in my closet. I haven't seen it since all our stuff was shipped here and we just shoved stuff in there to get it out of the way. The worst thing is there were only three small boxes of my stuff. All the rest was Princess's and DH's.

I shall pause to insert the following: I think Smokey is going deaf. Either that or he has very selective hearing. Good thing...his nose works way too good, so if I have to get his attention I just grab a piece of food lol.

Back to reality. My house. Filled with crap, and no storage space. We wont mention the fact I suck at organizing. We don't have a garage, and the basement small and  is so damp we have to be careful what we put down there. That means we take over closets. All of them are filled to the ceiling with crap. Plus we have WAY to much furniture that just isn't working in this house. Don't want to get rid of it since most of it is nice and it would work in a larger home, but we have no place to store it. Oh yeah, we're still working on buying a house so we will be moving within the next year. When we go big, we go big around here.

So on top of trying to empty the house, we are also trying to fill it. We need to have physical proof that the kids will have their own beds, dressers...basically stuff. We need a bunk bed, and a twin bed. We need dressers, we need clothes and toys for these kids. I am sure they will be coming with pretty much nothing. Oh did I mention...we are broke right now? Yeah there isn't much money right now. Not sure how that happened, but hopefully DH will be getting a big FAT raise with his promotion that was supposed to start two weeks ago, but has been put off until next Monday. In the mean time I am surfing my free sites and gonna be hitting some garage sales as soon as I get some cash. HOPEFULLY I will be able to find all this stuff ASAP, and get the kids rooms set up. Damn I better pass this fuckin home study, cuz if I don't that will be a butt load of more crap to get rid of. On the positive side of what would be a shitty situation...my house will be empty. Thinking that's not a very good thing to look forward too.

Ok now to jump over here for a moment. When I spoke with the worker, the immediate supervisor, and the regional supervisor they all said that the children had severe, (and yes they all said some form of severe) behavior, social, mental issues. One of them let it slip that the youngest had RAD also known as Reactive Attachment Disorder. This child may or may not have this, I guess I will find out when I pass my home study, and they actually let me see just what the hell is up. What I hate, and I really hate it, is when the people in the medical field give such a broad range of symptoms. It almost seems like they keep coming up with stuff to box in children and people when they don't fit into their "normal" box. Now I read the symptoms of this disorder, and to be honest, I have seen many people and children with the same behaviors. Ugh...my thoughts and feelings on this encompass way more time than I have to write it all down here.

And on that note...I'm gonna sit here and look at my house and try to come up with a game plan. Lord help me.