Well I suppose I should be writing more blogs lately but things have gotten a bit more crazy around here. With all the calls to Texas regarding the kids I'm trying to adopt. I find this very hard to deal with since I seem to lack patience. I want call backs right now, I want answers right now, I really don't like being jerked around, but here I am.
So on the home front here, the kids are getting restless as there are only about 2.5 weeks of school left. However there wont really be much of a break since Princess goes to college for two weeks, and Jokester goes to Reading and Writing summer camp. My running around will actually get a bit worse as I have to bring Princess to her classes and pick her up.
Superman is in a opposites mood, I guess I can't really call it that because it's not really opposites. He just makes things up for what he wants them to be. The other day he said he hated someone, and I told him that it isn't nice to say that about someone. He tells me, " oh when I say that I really mean that I like them a lot." Here's another one, " when I say stop it means I like BG." I'm not sure where he is getting this from, but at first it was kinda cute, but now he seems to think he can apply it in all situations and make his own reality, and it's becoming irritating now.
Henry did something the other day that just blew my mind...he came upstairs with the boys and I when it was time for bed. He walked around, turned and looked at me and popped a squat and peed. The little bastard peed in my house! He hasn't done that since he was 2 months old!
Then to make matters worse, DH notices a wet spot on the floor and finds out it was BG. The only dog who was behaving himself was Smokey and he's usually the one peeing all over. My house is revolting against me or something. Ha! They have a lesson to learn, and that is...I shall not let them win! It is war! Bring on the water balloons household get your squirt guns cuz here we go!
No seriously we probably will have ourselves a water war here soon, but in the mean time...the things that stray from the norm of our family life with continue to shock me, make me just stop and bust out laughing, make me cry, or just plain stump me. I wouldn't trade it for the world either.
Well maybe the dog pee would be a good thing to go, but you get my drift. This is who we are, we learn new things each day, face new trials, and over come hurdles, but through it all we are still here and not somewhere else.
Speaking of trying days...tomorrow the entire street can not use their drains. Why? They are repairing the sewer line and plugging everyone's drains to the sewer. Use the drains and there just might be sewer backing up into the house. That would not be fun, nor would I be happy, and it would be about the same time as the lady from CPS in Texas called me.
Wish me luck getting through 12 hours of that, thankfully most of the family will be at school/work for the duration. Now I just have to figure out where to do my business all day. Yes, yes I went there. Everyone has to do it, there is no denying it.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Again, and Again, and Now I'm Rambling
Last night I found out that my friend had decided to take a butt load of pills to be followed with many chasers of Vodka. I currently do not know how my friend is doing since I am unable to reach anyone at the house. In fact...there are a lot of people wondering what the hell is going on.
First I would like to explain something so that you might understand where I come from regarding this. Here's the deal...I do not cope with suicide or thoughts of suicide, or suicide attempts. It's not that I don't want to, but given my history (<--click here for the story.)...yeah, anything suicide related causes a chemical reaction in me that isn't pretty. So I tend to come across as a cold bitch.
Next I have to address the alcohol chasers. So yeah I'm a former alcoholic. I've been sober for 18 years. I don't have much patience for alcoholics either. Been there, done that. If you didn't click on the link above, here's a brief telling. I met guy, guy was great, guy was a closet alcoholic, guy hated himself, guy put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger, I found guy Easter morning. I really do recommend you click on the link though and read the full story.
So here I am today with a big ole pile of WHAT THE FUCK in my lap to deal with again. I don't want to deal with the emotions, I want to go and bitch slap the shit out of my friend. However I have a feeling that this probably will only make me feel better and wont make things better for my friend. Guess I should strike that from the things to do today.
Anyhow I have to figure out how to deal with this so that I can be a good friend to someone in need. I am having a very hard time doing this because of my out take on it. Now don't get me wrong here. I get that people get depressed and fall into a pit of despair...I have been there, I do suffer from depression. What I have an issue with is the fact that people can't get themselves out of that pit. Most times when someone has this problem they go to the doctor and get some happy pills. I do the same thing. I occasionally get to the point where I can't even stand to be in the same room with myself so off I go to make an appointment. Wow I seem to be having a very hard time articulating this with you. So I'm just gonna say this way, and if I offend someone, well so be it... God damn it, life sucks for everyone. The majority of the population keeps on going. Why? Because that is what we do as humans. Fall down, get up, brush ourselves off, and start marching again. There isn't anything out there that is so bad we need to kill ourselves. Perspective is needed. So say a mother looses her child to cancer, and feels like she can't go on. I get that, but there is so much more you can do for your child than permanently curl up in a ball and wither away, or more bluntly put...off yourself. Become a warrior against cancer, become a mentor, or support for another family...
For some reason though society seems to have forgotten that lesson, and now it is ok to sit there and expect others to stop what they are doing and to feel sorry for us, even complete strangers. It has become the norm in society to sit there and use past transgression upon us as an excuse for our behaviors today. Ya know there is some truth in that, but if it was the case straight through and through, the little child who was beaten, raped, mistreated, and all sorts of other horrors wouldn't ever become anything other than a product of their environment, and I know for a fact there are many of those kids out there stomping the hell out of their past and blowing by us "normal" people. We are a super sized generation, and in that super sizedness...our emotions are super sized too. It's time we reign it back in to what is supposed to be normal, and get a correct perspective on life.
There are people who's life sucks worse than mine and yours and yet they sit there and smile and are thankful for the life they do have. What right do I have to sit there and wallow in my self-pity when they are still able to smile? Can I cry about my situation? Hell yeah, but the point is to cry, learn, move on. I come up against a tough time in life and I'm not sure how the hell I'm gonna get through it, I have to make a conscious decision to look back on my life and find all the other times where I came up against a tough time, and realize even though at the time of these "catastrophes" I thought it was the end of the world...I got through it. If I got through that, and at the time it was the worst thing in the world that could ever, ever happen, or so I thought at the time...I can get through this worst thing in the whole wide world that is happening right now.
And now I'm rambling, and I still got nothing on how I need to deal with my friend, or rather how I need to deal with me, about my friend. It's all about the perspective I guess. Lesson learned.
I realize that there are parts where I don't really address somethings, and I went back to do that, but it ended up covering much more that what the simple reason for this post was, and becoming extra super long...if you need clarification, or would like to continue on a point I made feel free to comment.
First I would like to explain something so that you might understand where I come from regarding this. Here's the deal...I do not cope with suicide or thoughts of suicide, or suicide attempts. It's not that I don't want to, but given my history (<--click here for the story.)...yeah, anything suicide related causes a chemical reaction in me that isn't pretty. So I tend to come across as a cold bitch.
Next I have to address the alcohol chasers. So yeah I'm a former alcoholic. I've been sober for 18 years. I don't have much patience for alcoholics either. Been there, done that. If you didn't click on the link above, here's a brief telling. I met guy, guy was great, guy was a closet alcoholic, guy hated himself, guy put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger, I found guy Easter morning. I really do recommend you click on the link though and read the full story.
So here I am today with a big ole pile of WHAT THE FUCK in my lap to deal with again. I don't want to deal with the emotions, I want to go and bitch slap the shit out of my friend. However I have a feeling that this probably will only make me feel better and wont make things better for my friend. Guess I should strike that from the things to do today.
Anyhow I have to figure out how to deal with this so that I can be a good friend to someone in need. I am having a very hard time doing this because of my out take on it. Now don't get me wrong here. I get that people get depressed and fall into a pit of despair...I have been there, I do suffer from depression. What I have an issue with is the fact that people can't get themselves out of that pit. Most times when someone has this problem they go to the doctor and get some happy pills. I do the same thing. I occasionally get to the point where I can't even stand to be in the same room with myself so off I go to make an appointment. Wow I seem to be having a very hard time articulating this with you. So I'm just gonna say this way, and if I offend someone, well so be it... God damn it, life sucks for everyone. The majority of the population keeps on going. Why? Because that is what we do as humans. Fall down, get up, brush ourselves off, and start marching again. There isn't anything out there that is so bad we need to kill ourselves. Perspective is needed. So say a mother looses her child to cancer, and feels like she can't go on. I get that, but there is so much more you can do for your child than permanently curl up in a ball and wither away, or more bluntly put...off yourself. Become a warrior against cancer, become a mentor, or support for another family...
For some reason though society seems to have forgotten that lesson, and now it is ok to sit there and expect others to stop what they are doing and to feel sorry for us, even complete strangers. It has become the norm in society to sit there and use past transgression upon us as an excuse for our behaviors today. Ya know there is some truth in that, but if it was the case straight through and through, the little child who was beaten, raped, mistreated, and all sorts of other horrors wouldn't ever become anything other than a product of their environment, and I know for a fact there are many of those kids out there stomping the hell out of their past and blowing by us "normal" people. We are a super sized generation, and in that super sizedness...our emotions are super sized too. It's time we reign it back in to what is supposed to be normal, and get a correct perspective on life.
There are people who's life sucks worse than mine and yours and yet they sit there and smile and are thankful for the life they do have. What right do I have to sit there and wallow in my self-pity when they are still able to smile? Can I cry about my situation? Hell yeah, but the point is to cry, learn, move on. I come up against a tough time in life and I'm not sure how the hell I'm gonna get through it, I have to make a conscious decision to look back on my life and find all the other times where I came up against a tough time, and realize even though at the time of these "catastrophes" I thought it was the end of the world...I got through it. If I got through that, and at the time it was the worst thing in the world that could ever, ever happen, or so I thought at the time...I can get through this worst thing in the whole wide world that is happening right now.
And now I'm rambling, and I still got nothing on how I need to deal with my friend, or rather how I need to deal with me, about my friend. It's all about the perspective I guess. Lesson learned.
I realize that there are parts where I don't really address somethings, and I went back to do that, but it ended up covering much more that what the simple reason for this post was, and becoming extra super long...if you need clarification, or would like to continue on a point I made feel free to comment.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Happy Mother's Day and a Side Note to Go.
I just wanted to do a little blurp to wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day, and to share some news.
Sometimes we forget to be thankful for our children when they have gotten on our last nerve, but we must remember that we need to be thankful for the craziness that our kids provide in our life. There are some who have lost a child, or maybe they aren't able to conceive, maybe their kids were taken from them. There are so many variables to list, that I could go on for some time.
So to you, I wish you a big ole HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU!!!!! Today is your day to sit back and have everyone wait on you. Now if your house is like my house...good luck with that.
We are hoping that The Crazy Life will get a bit more crazy around here. You see we are trying to adopt three additional family members. I can't go into details yet, but I just wanted to let you know that if you see strange posts on my wall...it's me just trying to get through this process. I am writing posts about this, but due to the sensitive nature, they will have to wait until we either get to adopt the kids, or we don't. No matter what the outcome, it's going to be an emotional roller coaster around here for a bit.
Now for those who know me in person...I have yet to tell my father about this, and I'm trying to figure out the right way to do this with out him thinking I'm totally off my rocker. He already thinks I'm a bit strange ya know. So in the mean time this is our little secret. I'll let you know when it's safe ;)
Sometimes we forget to be thankful for our children when they have gotten on our last nerve, but we must remember that we need to be thankful for the craziness that our kids provide in our life. There are some who have lost a child, or maybe they aren't able to conceive, maybe their kids were taken from them. There are so many variables to list, that I could go on for some time.
So to you, I wish you a big ole HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU!!!!! Today is your day to sit back and have everyone wait on you. Now if your house is like my house...good luck with that.
We are hoping that The Crazy Life will get a bit more crazy around here. You see we are trying to adopt three additional family members. I can't go into details yet, but I just wanted to let you know that if you see strange posts on my wall...it's me just trying to get through this process. I am writing posts about this, but due to the sensitive nature, they will have to wait until we either get to adopt the kids, or we don't. No matter what the outcome, it's going to be an emotional roller coaster around here for a bit.
Now for those who know me in person...I have yet to tell my father about this, and I'm trying to figure out the right way to do this with out him thinking I'm totally off my rocker. He already thinks I'm a bit strange ya know. So in the mean time this is our little secret. I'll let you know when it's safe ;)
Monday, May 7, 2012
The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 1
5/7/2012
I'm starting this post now, so that I can give you an idea of how crazy I really am. You see, I have three kids, Princess 17, Jokester 7, Superman 4. I also have three dogs, Henry, Baby-girl, Smokey. Then there is myself, and DH, and for the time being DH's oldest son. That's nine living breathing moving things under one roof, and my house is SMALL!!
So on to why I'm really crazy. Last week I was informed that a family member and spouse had lost custody and parental rights to their three kids. Now I'm not sure where I got this deep family thing ingrained in me. I mean I don't really see my family much except during holidays, and even then it's a crap shoot, but regardless, I got it. Family is in trouble, family steps in. I am going for custody of my family. There I said it, and yes dad, your daughter is completely off her rocker. Now my family members who reads this, can you help me break it too him??? Just kidding, by the time this gets published he will for sure already know, but put in a good word for me anyhow...I'm gonna need it.
At the time of me writing this, I have no idea what I can and can't say, so I'm going to be as vague as I can, but still give you an idea as to what is going on, or for that matter if anything really becomes of this. For starters, this will be the second time I came to this family members "rescue" regarding a kid. The first occurrence was thirteen years ago when I took in the oldest of the four kids for a short period (the other three were not born yet). I'm not a stranger to taking in kids unfortunately, it's just never been three at one time.
Now I'm going on a rant, just thought I would give you fair warning. WTF is wrong with people? I get that some people fall on hard times and things go terribly wrong. What I don't get is the dumb ass's that continue to fuck up and just keep on running till the shit hits the fan so to speak. These are children you are scarring for life with your stupidity... KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF ALREADY!!! We are getting tired of cleaning up your messes. Don't get me wrong here, I will always do what must be done in this regards, but watching the train wreck happen over and over again kills me inside. Just fuckin stop it, please.
Ok rant done for now, I think. On with the story or lack of story I guess. There is a problem here that is going to be hard to over come. Well at least I think it will, you see I don't have the first idea on how to go about this. Well I guess I should say to make it permanent I guess. The other two time's that I have had a child placed with me were a bit different than this time. The first time was with the older sibling of these three. At the time the house he lived in was condemned. The state placed the child with me while the house was cleaned up. There weren't any questions asked, the worker just said come and pick up the child. (please keep in mind it wasn't so cut and dry, just trying to be vague to protect people here) The second time was when a family member of DH's lost custody of their kid. Once again Child Protection came knocking on the door, once again I opened the door, and once again there were no questions asked. Was told the child would be coming to my house on the school bus. I'm thinking it's not gonna be like that this time.
The other problem is...I don't know where these poor kids are. I know they are in a state down south, and that is all. I lost the family members number when my phone committed suicide, so I have no way of contacting them. The oldest sibling might have a way, but I guess it's a crap shoot there also. Think it might be the old call a friend and leave a message there for them routine.
So today I placed calls to my state, and to the state that the kids are in. I don't know where the kids actually are other than the state they are in. It's a really big state, and I just called the capital and it actually paid off. The lady kinda mumbled the county they were in, and gave me their workers number. Now I mean no offense here at all cuz I'm sure this isn't an across the board kinda thing, but what the hell is with you southern states not giving relatives their kin? This lady, OMG I can't even talk about it yet she pissed me off so bad! It's ok though I can do this. Dealt with a different difficult worker some years ago from another southern state, I've had practice now. Time to make a few choice calls since this went from me being a foster parent to an adoptive parent in oh I'd say an hour.
I'm starting this post now, so that I can give you an idea of how crazy I really am. You see, I have three kids, Princess 17, Jokester 7, Superman 4. I also have three dogs, Henry, Baby-girl, Smokey. Then there is myself, and DH, and for the time being DH's oldest son. That's nine living breathing moving things under one roof, and my house is SMALL!!
So on to why I'm really crazy. Last week I was informed that a family member and spouse had lost custody and parental rights to their three kids. Now I'm not sure where I got this deep family thing ingrained in me. I mean I don't really see my family much except during holidays, and even then it's a crap shoot, but regardless, I got it. Family is in trouble, family steps in. I am going for custody of my family. There I said it, and yes dad, your daughter is completely off her rocker. Now my family members who reads this, can you help me break it too him??? Just kidding, by the time this gets published he will for sure already know, but put in a good word for me anyhow...I'm gonna need it.
At the time of me writing this, I have no idea what I can and can't say, so I'm going to be as vague as I can, but still give you an idea as to what is going on, or for that matter if anything really becomes of this. For starters, this will be the second time I came to this family members "rescue" regarding a kid. The first occurrence was thirteen years ago when I took in the oldest of the four kids for a short period (the other three were not born yet). I'm not a stranger to taking in kids unfortunately, it's just never been three at one time.
Now I'm going on a rant, just thought I would give you fair warning. WTF is wrong with people? I get that some people fall on hard times and things go terribly wrong. What I don't get is the dumb ass's that continue to fuck up and just keep on running till the shit hits the fan so to speak. These are children you are scarring for life with your stupidity... KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF ALREADY!!! We are getting tired of cleaning up your messes. Don't get me wrong here, I will always do what must be done in this regards, but watching the train wreck happen over and over again kills me inside. Just fuckin stop it, please.
Ok rant done for now, I think. On with the story or lack of story I guess. There is a problem here that is going to be hard to over come. Well at least I think it will, you see I don't have the first idea on how to go about this. Well I guess I should say to make it permanent I guess. The other two time's that I have had a child placed with me were a bit different than this time. The first time was with the older sibling of these three. At the time the house he lived in was condemned. The state placed the child with me while the house was cleaned up. There weren't any questions asked, the worker just said come and pick up the child. (please keep in mind it wasn't so cut and dry, just trying to be vague to protect people here) The second time was when a family member of DH's lost custody of their kid. Once again Child Protection came knocking on the door, once again I opened the door, and once again there were no questions asked. Was told the child would be coming to my house on the school bus. I'm thinking it's not gonna be like that this time.
The other problem is...I don't know where these poor kids are. I know they are in a state down south, and that is all. I lost the family members number when my phone committed suicide, so I have no way of contacting them. The oldest sibling might have a way, but I guess it's a crap shoot there also. Think it might be the old call a friend and leave a message there for them routine.
So today I placed calls to my state, and to the state that the kids are in. I don't know where the kids actually are other than the state they are in. It's a really big state, and I just called the capital and it actually paid off. The lady kinda mumbled the county they were in, and gave me their workers number. Now I mean no offense here at all cuz I'm sure this isn't an across the board kinda thing, but what the hell is with you southern states not giving relatives their kin? This lady, OMG I can't even talk about it yet she pissed me off so bad! It's ok though I can do this. Dealt with a different difficult worker some years ago from another southern state, I've had practice now. Time to make a few choice calls since this went from me being a foster parent to an adoptive parent in oh I'd say an hour.
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