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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 6

5/18/2012

Well I have let the supervisor and the kids attorney have a whole week to get back to me, and I have heard diddly squat from anyone. I guess Monday shall be another day filled with phone calls to Texas. Good thing I have unlimited calling on my phone, and it's a good thing that I have nothing better to do than make phone calls to whomever I think will give me some information.

Speaking of getting more information, the kids mom finally got a hold of me regarding the kids, and had some extra information for me like names and address's and phone numbers. It only took her ten days, but at least she did get back to me. It sounds like Texas is just weaving a lovely little web of lies. I don't like webs, of any kind...spider, lies, whatever kinds...I tend to destroy them as I go. I really don't know what the out come of all of this will be, but at least I will have gotten under some peoples skin, and called them on their shit.

I also got to speak to the mother-in-law. I haven't really spoken to her other than a greeting at the wedding. Hmm. It was a pleasant conversation. A lot of plans on what she is going to do regarding getting custody of the kids. It's gonna be a long journey I think.

Not sure what I should do regarding the class's. I mean I guess everything has to go through the county, and the classes are through a agency. Should I go to the final class tomorrow or just say piss on it. I would really like to do some neat things with the family tomorrow since it seems to be the day that everyone in the city is doing little special things. On the other hand it would look good if I did go to the class even though it wont count in the end.
Stupid Texas!!! Just fricken send the paperwork here so I can get started on something that counts! I am about to march on down there and start whoopin some butt. Ok not really, but come on you people. You can not just write everyone who is family off cuz you feel like it.

You don't want the parents in contact with the kids...fine. You want them in therapy forever...fine. You want them to have a stable life...we have it. You want the home to have enough money...we got it. You want their foster home to be the one to adopt them...hello here I am! You want them in school...got a very good charter school all lined up. Here let me sniff your butt like a dog, cuz I'm willing to do whatever is in your outline.

Ok, time to write a letter to someone very important regarding the kids. It's quiet, I've ranted a bit, need a snack...then I shall write.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 5

5/14/2012
So this weekend me and DH went to the classes for foster/adoption licensing here in Minnesota. Well I should say we went to the first class. It was interesting, but not really helpful. Talk about making the poor kids out there waiting to adopt look horrible. They have problems so what, everyone has problems. These kids just weren't given the skills to learn how to deal with a normal life. Talking about all the kids out there, not just the one's we are looking to adopt.

Speaking of kids...I finally heard back from their workers supervisor, but the steps involved to get to that were just crazy. I called her for about a week 2-3 times a day. I then called her supervisor I believe three times ( have it written down here somewhere) she never called me back. Today I called and left a message with supervisor next in line. I then went on the adoption site for the state of Texas. I located an email address and since I had no idea which region I needed so I just emailed the main peoples. I spewed my problem and issue out and left it at that. I forgot to check my emails later in the day, and when I got to Princess's school to pick her up my phone rings. Guess who it is? It was the immediate supervisor to the worker calling me back finally. Guess what else??? I got home and checked my emails and there was a reply to my email at 3:25, the supervisor called me at 4:32. Hmmm.

So anyhow me and the supervisor talked for about an hour, her getting to know me and find out what I knew of the situations that landed the kids there. I told her all I knew. I told her about my family, and why we were doing this. I told her that this is what family is supposed to do. Rally around and take care of family so that we can keep the traditions strong, and I will have answers for the children when they start asking who their peoples are. She explained that the state had entered into an agreement with the parents regarding their placement and what not. She told me that these would be special needs children who would need long term therapy. I told her that I would have been surprised if the children didn't need help with behaviors and learning how to deal with things. It is the parents who stated that these children would be getting adopted by their foster family. I'm not sure what the goal was in this, but I made it very clear that I would do whatever I needed to do in order to keep in accordance with the agreement they had established. I would be their adopting foster parent.

She sounded pleasantly surprised by some of my answers, and she seemed to perk up with each one. She did make it very clear that they might not be able to let me foster/adopt the kids due to the agreement, but she would bring everything I told her to the children's lawyer and Guardian Ad Litem and get back to me as soon as she got an answer. At least this time I wasn't told no flat out, and things were explained to me. I have the feeling that I can trust what this girl says. Now it's just the waiting game again. I'm not sure what I will do if the children's lawyers come back and say no. At this point, do I just give up and let my family disappear, or do I continue to fight for them?  I hate having so many variables and unknowns flying around me. It makes me uncomfortable to put it mildly. Time to sleep on it and pray to the Good Lord.

Monday, October 29, 2012

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 4

5/11/12

For the last couple of days, there hasn't been anything for me to do other than keep calling the supervisor. Each time I was met with her recording. Each time I left a message, each time she didn't return my call. Today I will be calling her supervisor, and if I don't hear from her come Monday afternoon, I will be calling her supervisor.

I feel like they are stone-walling me. I feel like, they think that if they don't return my phone calls they can continue on with their plans. Only when they reach their goal will they "conveniently call me back. I don't know why this worker doesn't want me to adopt these kids. She says they are up for adoption, but yet when I look on the states site for adoptable kids...they aren't there. So what the hell is going on? Are they not available yet? Do they already have someone in mind and just are forgoing the posting part? I looked at the siblings together section and there are like 70 sets of siblings waiting for adoption. Is she separating them, even though she told me there weren't? Doesn't matter, they aren't in there whether they are listed as single, or as siblings.

I'm getting tired of waiting. I'm not a patient person, waiting to take these classes, waiting for someone to call me back, waiting, waiting, waiting. I do not like being the one that is not in control. LOL, and here I'm trying to do the thing that has almost drove people over the edge with the not knowing. I guess this will be a test of my being. No matter how this turns out, I guess I will have learned something.

I don't get why they can't start the Home Study while we are going to the classes. If it is everyone's goal to get children placed in a stable home, why not do things a bit more streamlined? I know, I know, silly girl, this is the government I'm talking about. Nuff said. I also get that I'm sure if they just expedited every child they wouldn't be as certain on the adoptive parents. Then again maybe the whole thing behind the workers attitude is to see if I really am for real. What better way to get rid of the riff raff than to shoot them right out of the gate. Mom and dad didn't seem to want to go all the way with the requirements, maybe I wont either.

The one thing I don't understand is on top of telling me no, no, no. She did say, "well go ahead and get your foster license, if you want. What you do, is what you do." Not sure how to take this.  This whole fight for these kids started with her telling me that my state takes too long to get licensed, and I told her it didn't. This is the point that I started to hear the no, no, no's.

Ugh! So one phone call into the supervisor of the supervisor. Will call later this afternoon, to give her a  chance to call me back...and now I wait...some more.

Yesterday I told DH that I'm going to need his help in getting the house ready for our home study. I mean we have to do this anyhow, but now that there has been a time limit on it sort of, I'm going to need help. He says to me, that he will help me, but I need to do some stuff for him. WOW really? I'm already doing everything. The only thing he needs to do is show up for the classes on the next two Saturdays. One of the things that needs to be done around here is to clean out the clutter. I have for the most part cleared out anything that I didn't want, it's his turn now. So he says yea I'll do it, but each day you bring me a box to go through and before I play my game, get on the computer, or watch tv when I get home from work and I'll go through it all and consolidate. Then you can  find out what they are looking for in the perfect house, and start looking for the info on buying a house, and find us a house......How about you not stay the fuck up until 6am so you can get your ass up and help me with this stuff, rather than throw it all on my head. Seriously dude, this is the last straw. Damn I suppose I shouldn't put stuff like that in here considering what's going on, but hell I'm not perfect, and that just fricken pissed me off.

So off I go to go find funding, and find a house and find out what it is that they are looking for exactly in a adoptive family and home.  Oh and deal with the people from down south, and wash laundry, and clean, organized and declutter a house all by myself. ...then we hit the time when the kids come home. What does he get to do? Go to work, run around dealing with idiots for only 8 hrs, have a social life even if it is only at work for 8 hours, come home, play games, sit on computer, eat, watch tv, go to sleep. Wake up an hour maybe two hours before he has to go to work....kiss my ass.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 3

5/8/12
I woke up today with a purpose. That purpose was to go kick some other states butt regarding getting custody of my cousins. My plans changed. I spent the entire morning talking with one of my favoritest relatives, who happens to be the brother to the relative who lost custody. Ya know to make it easier...relative who lost custody shall be further known as Pat. That's a whole lot easier to write. I call...let's see we shall give the name Jess to the brother. Jess and I haven't talked in about eight years due to long distance and all that stupid stuff that shouldn't keep family apart. We more than made up for it today. It was great, and totally cool that we picked right back up where we left off. I have to say the conversation with Jess was not all smiles and laughs though. Unfortunately the reason I called was to see if Jess was aware that the kids had been taken, and to see if Jess would have my back as I go off to fight the big bad wolf. A lot of the conversation was spent talking about the kids, and what transpired yesterday with my phone conversation with the worker. Some of it was spent talking about the strange coincidence of us both getting a rescue dog with only three legs. Our conversation was all over the map, and it felt so good.

I finally got off the phone and then ended up right back on the phone with my BFF. It was while talking to her that DH walked in to me explaining what was going on with "the case".
So now I'm talking to two of them explaining all that has transpired. DH jumps up and says, "fuck that! Were getting a lawyer and suing the shit outta that fuckin state!" And there you go folks. My Crazy Life is about to go straight through hell and back. Good thing I'm already crazy, because I don't think a sane person would come through this in one piece.

My first step once I finally got off the phone was to get back on the phone with the lovely worker from down there. It was not my first choice, I really did try to find who her supervisor was, but I had to call her to get the information so I can get things moving. Don't get me wrong here, this girl, and I do say girl because she sounds all of about twenty-three, actually seems like a nice person. However since she has now made me have to walk through hell and back...I don't like her. I got the information from her, and she was even nice enough to let me know that her super was in court until late afternoon. Why thank you ma'am and have a nice day. Called the super and left a message for her to call me back. Keeping fingers crossed that she does call me back. Then again maybe if she doesn't I can then have the excuse to call my worker back and have her send some fire on down there.

I left it at that and went about the rest of my day.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 2

5/7/12 continued
So now rather than fostering these children, I'm now going to be adopting these three children. Gosh did I mention that the ages were 8, 5, and 3? Well there they are again if I already did. This worker, and I am giving her the benefit of doubt here, does have the children's welfare in mind, except for the fact that I AM NOT THE ENEMY HERE, AND YOU NEED TO STOP TREATING ME AS SUCH!!!!! Now I understand the people you have had to deal with in regards to these children, but please listen...I am not them, or of the same breed. Sorry my relative, love ya but you know it's true, and no I'm not a snob or anything people. Some things you just have to see to understand. 

So after going round and round with this lady for about two hours, I finally asked her point blank, "are you telling me that I can't adopt my own relative? Are you telling me that because I didn't come forward a month ago to get custody that I now, even though I'm their relative and just found out about this...am screwed?" Her answer was, "yes that's what I'm telling you". OOOOOO-EEEEE!  DH get ready for the ride, this broad pissed me off by lying to me and now she's telling me no. It's on baby, here I come. I might not have money, and I know this is gonna cost me, but I don't care. You do not tell me no in regards to my family. Ok seriously DH has no idea what's gone on other than the comment I made in reference to southern states being difficult in regards to this when he woke up today.

I got off the phone with her after she told me that she would have her supervisor contact me. I'm thinking she just said that to get me to stop bugging her. I immediately began looking up numbers here in my state and county. I honestly don't even remember who all I called except for two people. One was a worker from my county from the adoption department. God bless her soul. When she answered the phone she sounded like another over worked state employee. Tired and worn out. By the time I got a quarter of the way through with the story of my conversation with the other worker, she was much more alive. Ok, understatement there very alive she became. My first actual question for her was on one of my states laws regarding getting licensed for foster care if you are a relative since the other workers main concern was getting these kids in a stable adoptive home. The law goes like this, paraphrasing here...in certain circumstances a relative may take custody of a relatives child without getting licensed but must have a home visit and pass a background check. Upon getting the child the relative must work on obtaining their license. The worker here confirmed that that was true and that I read the law correct, and that the worker from down south was wrong. SCORE ONE FOR ME!!!! My worker (I'm just gonna call her that for now to keep things less confusing) told me to contact the other workers supervisor and give them her name and number and inform them that I am in the process of a home study. And that worker was concerned that my state takes too long. Paaaleeze. My worker referred me to another program that also provides the classes I need to become...You know? I have no idea why I have to take the classes or what they are about. Doesn't matter though...state says I have to do it so do it I will. The other person I spoke with was someone who provides support for grandparents and other relatives in gaining custody. She sent me a ton of information that I have yet to scratch the surface in reading. Ladies, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

I called some attorneys from the other state  to get a better understanding of the laws in that state. Yeah, I have yet to hear back from them. I then did some research on the Inter State Compact for the Placement of Children to find out just what was coming and to make sure I was aware of what they also required. It seemed pretty cut an dry. I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal out of it. I guess it all depends on how fast the states respond.  After dealing with the out of state worker I have had just about enough for the day, and it's time for some quiet. I'll pick up my sword again tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Henry's Friend


Well it seems as if Pig Pen the duck is here to stay. Yes we named him Pig Pen as he loves the mud and is never completely white. I still haven't been able to get him to go into the pool. Don't figure.

Anyhow, he's lonely I guess, or he just likes dogs. Henry in particular. Henry likes him too, but I'm pretty sure Henry has other ideas than just playing like old friends. 

It never fails that when I let Henry out to do his business Pig Pen will come running, ok maybe waddling really fast up the yard to see Henry. He knows just how far the leash will go, and he will then just sit there and look at Henry. 

Pig Pen likes to mess with all the dogs, but especially Henry. Pig Pen will wait until the dogs turn around and start walking away, and then he will follow them. I think he has a death wish or something, maybe he likes to mess with me too and give me a heart attack. Anyhow once the dog gets so far, he will let out a quack and wait for the dog to turn around...and then run just past where the leash will end. I think he finds it comical to watch the dogs get whiplash. 

 Pig Pen and Henry

The other night, after I locked Pig Pen up for the night in the garden I grabbed the walking leash and hooked Henry up and walked him to the garden. He was so intent on smelling the duck smell on the ground that he didn't even realize that there was a duck standing right in front of him, separated only by some chicken wire, that is until Pig Pen charged the fence. Henry finally focused on the duck, and the two of them just stared at each other. It was intense I tell you. Neither of them moved a muscle for about two minutes. Then Henry couldn't contain himself any longer. The sound he let out resembled something between a yip and a bark. Guess it doesn't matter what the sound was, the effect had me almost on the ground rolling.  As soon as the sound left Henry, poor Pig Pen, who was in the zone and focusing on Henry almost did a back flip he was startled so badly.

Things here might settle down just a bit, but there is always little things like this that keep us off balance just enough to keep us on our feet.