The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 9

June 29th
I called the kids social worker today and got her answering machine. I then called her supervisor and she answered. I explained that I was wondering if we could set-up a skype session with the kids and big brother, and also wanted to know about any progress there might have been.

She of course said that it wasn't up to her on the skype session, but that she would bring the idea to the other people who have the say so. She said the kids were adjusting well to their foster home. I specifically asked about the child who was diagnosed with RAD, to get a feel as to how well the child was adjusting. It sounds like the ability to adjust well is there, but of course there are going to be problems for awhile. In fact while talking to the supervisor there was no mention of the horrible problems that these kids seem to have or be diagnosed with. Strange. When they were trying to scare me off they made it seem like these kids were so horrible and hard to handle, but now that they actually were looking at me as a serious possibility to place these kids...not hardly a mention. I asked the supervisor if they were for real considering  us as adoptive parents, or if they were just telling me stuff to appease me so they didn't have to deal with me, and she said no that this is for real, and very quietly and quickly mentioned in an off handed manner that she didn't know what to do if this fell through as this was the last chance, mumble,  mumble...kids. She also mentioned that the foster home the kids were in is only a long term home. It seems to me that they really don't have anyone who is willing to adopt all three of them, and I am the last chance. I really hope we pass the homestudy.

July 13th
I called the worker to see how things were going, and to ask a couple of questions. I left a message for her, and she called me back a couple of hours later. That is a first! Hallelujah! Usually it takes them a week to call me back. I think it might have been because she needed more info from me, but I like to think that it's cuz I'm in on this. 
I wanted to know what sizes the kids were wearing, and what was their favorite things to play with, and favorite colors. She said that she would have to talk to the foster mom on the sizes, but that the oldest is very girly girl, the boy is infatuated with CARS, and the youngest is happy with whatever. Not something I would associate with RAD, but what the hell do I know. The boy was able to have a pool party for his birthday, and they have been going to camp, and doing lots of activities this summer. A chance to be real kids, how wonderful! Once again no mention of the sever issues these kids was mentioned. Guess they are done trying to scare me away for now. The worker also seemed super surprised when I mentioned that we were almost done setting up the house for the kids. Not sure why she would be surprised as everyone keeps telling me to get ready like they will be dropping them off when they do the homestudy. 

I kinda feel like I could never live up to the funness of their foster home. It seems like a very nice place to live, and they have been able to send them to so many different programs and stuff. How am I ever to compete with that? I mean here we are just regular people, and find it hard enough to figure out how to go fishing. I have no idea how to plan this stuff out. I feel like I kinda suck. It sounds like the foster home is perfect, and we are very far from that. How are we supposed to pass the homestudy if we can't even begin to compete with that?

I have moments too, that this might be more than I can handle. I think to myself, "holy crap! Three more kids to take care of, am I freaking insane?!" I like my life as it is, but sometimes God takes us very far from the path we think we were supposed to be on. He really seems to have fun with me for some reason. What can I do but keep on putting one foot in front of the other. I've learned that panicking or complaining about it sure isn't going to solve anything, so I might as well make the best of it, and try to have fun while I stumble through life. A very wise lesson I have somehow managed to learn. I wish I could pass it on to friends, but it's a lesson you have to come upon by yourself. 

Well according to the worker, the information she needed was the last of it, and the paperwork would be getting sent to my state. Here's keeping fingers crossed.

The Begining and Possibly the End. Part 8

5/29/2012

So I gave the regional supervisor a whole week to call me back. I didn't hear a thing from her. I decided that I would call her tomorrow since today was spent recovering from the crazy amount of cooking and prep I did yesterday. Just was pretty out of it today, and not in the mood to deal with bureaucratic bs.

In the middle of making dinner tonight I got a phone call from Texas. It was the regional supervisor finally calling me. Now this lady had that southern drawl I had been expecting from all the others. She was so sweet sounding I just wanted to reach through the phone and give her a big hug. Oops getting back to the point. So she tells me that they are sending the papers to the judge to expedite my home study. PROGRESS FINALLY!!! I guess it pays to make a call to headquarters and send them on the war path. When 1+1 isn't making 2 it's time to investigate what's going on. So very sorry I cause a stink...naw, no I'm not made you do your job.

Ya know just as I sit down to write this, the family thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread. It is now two days later, let's see if I can finish this. I sent my best girls, and DH a text telling them the good news. I called the wonderful lady who got me started with the classes and has been giving me little hints of advice when dealing with Texas. Got a big ol' WA-hoo out of her, and of course had to tell her how it all came about.

Now here is the reality setting in...I have a home study to do. I have no idea when it will begin, but I guess I will find out when the call comes. In the mean time...I gots a whole lotta work to do here. I have been cleaning things out like a crazy person around here. I can finally see the floor in my closet. I haven't seen it since all our stuff was shipped here and we just shoved stuff in there to get it out of the way. The worst thing is there were only three small boxes of my stuff. All the rest was Princess's and DH's.

I shall pause to insert the following: I think Smokey is going deaf. Either that or he has very selective hearing. Good thing...his nose works way too good, so if I have to get his attention I just grab a piece of food lol.

Back to reality. My house. Filled with crap, and no storage space. We wont mention the fact I suck at organizing. We don't have a garage, and the basement small and  is so damp we have to be careful what we put down there. That means we take over closets. All of them are filled to the ceiling with crap. Plus we have WAY to much furniture that just isn't working in this house. Don't want to get rid of it since most of it is nice and it would work in a larger home, but we have no place to store it. Oh yeah, we're still working on buying a house so we will be moving within the next year. When we go big, we go big around here.

So on top of trying to empty the house, we are also trying to fill it. We need to have physical proof that the kids will have their own beds, dressers...basically stuff. We need a bunk bed, and a twin bed. We need dressers, we need clothes and toys for these kids. I am sure they will be coming with pretty much nothing. Oh did I mention...we are broke right now? Yeah there isn't much money right now. Not sure how that happened, but hopefully DH will be getting a big FAT raise with his promotion that was supposed to start two weeks ago, but has been put off until next Monday. In the mean time I am surfing my free sites and gonna be hitting some garage sales as soon as I get some cash. HOPEFULLY I will be able to find all this stuff ASAP, and get the kids rooms set up. Damn I better pass this fuckin home study, cuz if I don't that will be a butt load of more crap to get rid of. On the positive side of what would be a shitty situation...my house will be empty. Thinking that's not a very good thing to look forward too.

Ok now to jump over here for a moment. When I spoke with the worker, the immediate supervisor, and the regional supervisor they all said that the children had severe, (and yes they all said some form of severe) behavior, social, mental issues. One of them let it slip that the youngest had RAD also known as Reactive Attachment Disorder. This child may or may not have this, I guess I will find out when I pass my home study, and they actually let me see just what the hell is up. What I hate, and I really hate it, is when the people in the medical field give such a broad range of symptoms. It almost seems like they keep coming up with stuff to box in children and people when they don't fit into their "normal" box. Now I read the symptoms of this disorder, and to be honest, I have seen many people and children with the same behaviors. Ugh...my thoughts and feelings on this encompass way more time than I have to write it all down here.

And on that note...I'm gonna sit here and look at my house and try to come up with a game plan. Lord help me.

Turner's Syndrome and Princess

Awhile back I told you that I would talk about Turner's Syndrome someday. Well I guess today is as good as any day. I am going to attempt to keep this as short and as informational as possible for you. Please understand that I am not a doctor, and this is basically how I understand what I am about to write. I may not have all the facts correct.

My daughter was born with TS, it's not hereditary or anything like that. It's basically a fluke. Before she was born I had never heard of TS before. I went through a crash course after she was born. Back then there wasn't a lot of info on the web that was in people language. There were a bunch of really big words for me to try and read, and I ended up more confused than when I first began researching TS.

First a quick lesson on cells and chromosomes. the body is made up of cells, which are our DNA. The cells are, for lack of a better word, the envelopes that hold the chromosomes that tell the body how to make us. In each cell there are supposed to be 46 chromosomes. The chromosomes are the things that say whether we have blond hair, eye color, how many fingers...you get the idea. Girls have two X chromosomes in each cell, and boys have a Y (that's where they get that testosterone from. I'm kidding I have no clue on that.) and an X chromosome. Ok, I told you it would be quick, moving on.

Only girls have TS, due to an X chromosome either missing or a different variation of it and I will cover that in a bit. About 99% of the fetuses spontaneously abort themselves due to sever complications. So whenever you hear a mom say that her TS daughter is a miracle, she speaks the truth. They are our miracles. They all come with a wide variety of medical concerns, from sever to mild, and no two are alike.

There are three types of TS, the first one being Monosomy or Classic Turner's, about 50% of TS girls have this kind. With this kind the chromosome is completely missing. The girls who have this type show the most physical features and medical conditions. This is the type that Princess has, and I will get into this more.

The next type is Mosaicism Tuner's and about 30-40% are born with this type. With this type they have some of the 46th chromosomes or only part of the 46th chromosome. There's no set order to this, so each girl will have different things going on. Girls with this typically don't show as many physical features, or have as many medical conditions. Some will menstruate, and can become pregnant but go through a very early menopause. They are also not diagnosed until usually later in life due to the lack of TS physical features being absent.

The last type is Ischromosome which occurs in 12-20% of girls. The features and medical conditions are similar to the type Monosomy.

Now onto Classic Turner's. With this type there are many physical features that are present. With Princess the fact that her hands and feet were puffy was the initial indication that she had TS. I'm going to list some of the physical features that are usually present with this type. Not every girl has these and I am not going to list them all as the list can be long. Of the following, Princess exhibits seven of the features plus more not listed.

short stature

a low hairline at the back of the neck 

broad chest 

small jaw 

a narrow, high arched palate 

shorter fingers 

soft, spoon shaped fingernails 

prominent ears 

Nearly half of the females with Turner syndrome have a condition known as lymphedema resulting in puffiness in the hands and feet at birth. 

Some of the medical conditions are as follows:

underdeveloped ovaries or non existent

constricted aorta- Princess has a bi-cuspid aorta and widening of the aortic root

misshapen kidneys, or horseshoe kidneys- one of Princess's kidneys is slightly bigger than the other

Eustachian tubes do not work properly and cause middle ear infection and possible hearing loss

short sightedness

scoliosis 

thyroid problems

The chromosome that is missing is the one that tells the body to keep growing, and to go through puberty. Most TS girls take growth hormones to grow and later take estrogen to develop a normal female body. Some TS girls prefer not to go these routes.

When Princess was born the doctor told me that she could be severely mentally disabled or a genius. (way to close that gap there doc) If she actually used her brain she would be closer to the genius range, just saying. There is however a common learning impairment that is associated with TS and it is called Nonverbal Learning Disability. This means that there might be problems with math, and  they may find visualizing objects in relation to one another more difficult, this is called visual-spatial relationships.

Well thank you for reading this post, if you know a girl or woman who might show the signs of TS let them know they are not alone, and there is help out there. People often ask me if I'm mad at God for this, and my honest answer has always been...absolutely not. He decided that she was the perfect child for me, and I the perfect mom for her. Together we can educate and inform others of this Syndrome and let them know there is nothing to be afraid of. 


Ok so I have no idea what I did to make some of this weird looking, and I have no idea how to fix it...sorry folks. Just been one of those days.