When Did I Grow Up

Ya know, I used to see mom's out there when I was much younger and think to myself, "wow how did they let themselves get so dumpy?" I mean I seriously remember being there in Target and actually thinking this an after thought of the line of, "I will never let myself get so uncool."

Now why I thought that, I have no idea. I, myself was never the type of  being in style kinda girl, or a cool kid. Maybe that's the reason I thought that. Then again, every teenager who has parents who give a damn about them view the parents as aliens from another world. Think I'm sticking with the second one.

I was doing good when I had Princess. Cool, hip, fun mom. I mean I was really strict with her, but we had a ton of fun. I actually knew how to laugh. We went camping, fishing, roller blading, snuggling, shopping... Now? It isn't happening. Somewhere I lost my youth.

I'm not fun anymore. I don't have the energy to do things with the kids. In fact the little bit of energy I do have, they suck right out within five minutes of waking up. I don't laugh as much, and I don't just stop and grab a hand and start dancing. I'm too busy trying to get through a day. Screw that, to busy trying to get through an hour. 

The little things that I should be gaining pleasure from are just wearing me down. I am not able to enjoy life right now. It seems somewhere along the way...I grew up and became one of those dumpy parents from my yesteryear. 

Gosh darn it! I refuse to cave into the stereotypical description of growing up! If it rains, you can bet your sweet ass I'm grabbing a little hand and we are going to go dance in the rain. Ok, it will only be with Superman, since Jokester, and Princess hate rain, but dancing we shall go. Oh, and when it gets much warmer here, it's still a bit chilly. 

Forget the Laughing Garden

Ok so enough with the serious stuff already. I spend about 90% of my time being serious and depressing, this blog is supposed to be a way for my humor, to come out as I struggle to deal with my Crazy life. At least I think there's some humor in me somewhere. And on that note...

I really hate my forgetfulness, it makes life so complicated and chaotic. I listen to the boys babbling on to each other when they aren't trying to kill the other (when they are trying to kill each other, I don't listen), and the things that come out of their mouths just makes me chuckle. I would love to share some of the things, but alas my forgetfulness strikes. I am seriously thinking I should invest in a recorder so that I might share the cuteness with others.

In fact last night while driving home from picking Princess up from night school, the boys were have great conversations. I mentioned the recorder thing to Princess between chuckles and she got out her phone and tried to record them. It didn't really work, but thanks bugs for trying. Yes I call my daughter bugs, and it isn't because she likes bugs either. She's just my luv bugs. He he, I got to embarrass her!

Jokester and Superman have a typical brother relationship I guess. I personally think they do way more fighting than the average brothers, but then again I don't have to sit and listen to other brothers all the time. During the rare times where they are not trying to kill each other, these two get along fabulously and peels of laughter abound. Jokester, being true to his nickname loves to make Superman laugh, and he will stop at nothing to make this happen. Superman thinks he is hilarious. You know those videos of the babies laughing hysterically? Superman laughs just like that. His laughter is contagious. It makes you stop whatever you are doing to listen, and then wonder what they are doing or getting into.

On a different topic...the weather here in Minnesota is deifying all weather norms. We have virtually no snow, although we are supposed to get a light dusting today and tonight. Yesterday the temps were 52 degrees, which I think is much better than -20 below. I do understand the need for snow here, since we don't get rain...well usually don't get rain as I speak it is misting out, our spring will be very dry. Not a good thing for the farmers if we don't get some form of precipitation here. I decided to go out to the garden and see if my carrots were still going. I just threw some leaves over the tops of them in a half hearted  attempt to see if I could get carrots in the winter. I had read that if you throw about a foot of mulch over them they would keep going. My leaves didn't even come close to being a foot, more like four inches. To my surprise...there are carrots still growing, and to an even greater surprise the onions that I thought had died are growing too.

It's a carrot!

Some of the carrots didn't make it, or rather some of the tops didn't make it. I suppose when I go out this spring to start digging I will find some more. Hopefully they will have become good size by then.

My surprise onions. If you look close there is actually some green in there.

These really took my by surprise since I thought I had killed them this summer. They didn't have the ideal spot to grow and were over shadowed by the cabbage which went crazy. I'm very glad they are coming back since I use onions in just about everything. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

They might be small, but there they are, my carrots!

I had a really hard time getting a picture of these little guys, for some reason the flash on my camera is powerful enough to cause permanent blindness. That is, unless I stand fifty feet away from whatever I'm taking a picture of. I really need a new camera. Carrots...that's what I was talking about. I have never planted carrots before, in fact the only veggie's I have ever grown have been tomatoes for Princess. She loves tomatoes with a passion, and she really had her fill this summer. Jeez back to carrots here. I planted them kind of late and a bit too close and was too lazy to thin them out and didn't really have anywhere for them to go had I actually thinned them so they didn't grow very big. I also apparently have the soil that is the consistency of concrete as you can see from the largest white one that was starting to curve back up. Lessons learn right?

In all my garden was a huge experiment, and one that I really enjoyed doing. Before the earwigs attacked the corn, and the rabbits attacked everything else but the beans, carrots, and tomatoes my garden looked awesome! I found out that I really need to start my seeds much earlier than I did as some things didn't get to fully grow before the frost hit. In fact I should be starting them now I guess. Not sure where I will put all these to be soon to be plants someday, as my house is stuffed to capacity. I suppose I can always use the huge coffee table that is in my upstairs bathroom. Yes I have a coffee table in there, don't ask...please.

I would post a picture of my beautiful garden, but alas I can not find one. I know I took pictures because I was so proud of myself, but they are no where to be found. Which means I must have deleted them. The only picture that remains is of bare ground when I dug up the garden or rather when DH and his oldest dug it up...not very interesting if you ask me. 

Random thought of the day: hell I don't have one right off the top of my head. Minds a little on the blank side today.

On a side note, did you figure out how I got the tile of this post? I forget, the boys laugh, and I grew a garden...pretty good huh? Pa leeez it's called lack of imagination, you should re-read the random thought line again.

You Know Your Life is Crazy When...

So I have some health problems. These wonderful problems seem to perplex the medical field, which in turns frustrates the hell out of me. Allow me to elaborate here without details, or rather many details. You do need to know some in order to follow the story here. Argh.


First things first...I have a seizure disorder. I do not have normal seizures, why go normal when you can be abnormal right? They call them atypical. Ooh! I get a special word for my lovely seizures. Atypical means the following:

a·typ·i·cal

adjective

not typical;  not conforming to the type; irregular; abnormal: atypical behavior; a flower atypical of the species.

Yep that about sums me up right there, and I'm not talking just about the seizures. I'm thinking it's not such a good thing when your doctor gives you this label. Maybe this is the reason the jackass doesn't listen to me. 

Anyyyhoo, so some of the problems I have been having could be symptoms of  a seizure when I do have them. So me being me, decided to try to narrow down the possibility's. Oh silly me, whatever was I thinking? I make an appointment with my incompetent wonderful neurologist to see if changing my medicine from generic to the brand name will help. I get the old run around and he tells me, "it's not the medicine, it works just fine and your levels are within range." Humph. I tell him, "my original doctor specifically put it in my records that I was NOT to get generic, since the one time the pharmacy decided to replace them with generic I started having seizures". He says, "there are more breakthrough seizures with the brand name than the generic. Have a nice day see you in a year". Yeah, fuck you.

Well things do not improve and in fact are getting much worse. So I made another appointment with him to address the same thing.  Same spiel except this time he actually listens to me describe the symptoms.  His answer..."your depressed go see a psychologist." I...hate...this...man. Now I could really tell you what I feel and think about him, but I'm sure I would offend, oh, I don't know, like half the world. Guess I'm not going there. 

I go home utterly flattened, and decide to look up physical symptoms of depression. Strange, they kinda sound like what I have only there's one simple thing missing......I AM NOT DEPRESSED! What I am is PISSED OFF! To appease the neurology doctor who thinks he's God I make an appointment with a psychologist, but only so I can go back to him and throw it in his pompous face. Weehaa I'm starting to feel better now.  

So I go to my appointment with the shrink, and I tell her why I'm there. I then proceed to tell her a bit about myself, cuz that's what your supposed to do right? I tell her the meds I'm on, one of which is Bupropion. For those of you who don't know what this medicine is, it is well... an anti-depressant. Here's the catch, I'm not on it for depression. It also is supposed to help a person quit smoking. Guess what? It's not working, cuz I'm still smoking like a chimney stack, however I am not depressed...haha we covered that somewhere up there now didn't we. Fricken neurologist take that. If you actually looked at my record, and I know you didn't, you would see that I'm already on an anti-depressant. 

Well we talk for my hour, and at the end she says, "your not depressed, your overwhelmed and need a vacation, and obviously have some medical issues that need to be address, and you really should try to get into see your original neurologist since this one seems to be an ass. Ok she didn't really call him an ass, but you get the drift". THANK YOU!! She is now my best friend. Ok well maybe not my best friend since seeing her is $200 a pop, but since my insurance covers it...she is my new best friend once a week. Hmm, now that I put that on "paper" so to speak, that's kinda saddening. I think I have crossed over to depressed...Na. 

So why keep going to her when I'm not depressed? Well why the hell not? I felt much better after unloading on her, she gives me some things to think on. Like I need any more things to think on. And one can never have too many different perspectives when looking at a problem. Then again in my case if there are too many I just might get confused.  I'm talking perspectives here, then again problems would also qualify for causing confusion.


Now I'm getting to the part that resulted in the title of this blog. You see, I don't feel that I'm a particularly funny person. I have a strange sense of humor. Kinda on the sarcastic side with an odd little twist. I never get jokes. Yeah it sucks to be the last one laughing, but it is who I am. I see myself as a rather somber type of person. So when the following thing happens, it tickles me to the bone.

I have seen her a grand ole total of three times, and apparently my life, yes the CRAZY LIFE that this blog is based on, is hilarious. Either that or I'm two sheets shy of the looney bin and she's keeping it a secret from me. The reason I say this is that on all three occasions of  seeing her, I cracked her up. I wasn't even trying people! I give her credit though she really tries to hold it in. I mean come on how unprofessional is it to laugh at your clients life?  Tonight it resulted in her snorking. What is snorking you ask? Well it's similar to snorting, but it's snorking. Plus the sound that came from her didn't really qualify as a snort. I couldn't use snort since I am an Atypical sort of person. So I have come up with my own term cuz if your going to be different you might as well go with a bang. Ha ha snork, damn I even crack myself up. Good thing I see a psychologist now isn't it?