You Know Your Life is Crazy When...

So I have some health problems. These wonderful problems seem to perplex the medical field, which in turns frustrates the hell out of me. Allow me to elaborate here without details, or rather many details. You do need to know some in order to follow the story here. Argh.


First things first...I have a seizure disorder. I do not have normal seizures, why go normal when you can be abnormal right? They call them atypical. Ooh! I get a special word for my lovely seizures. Atypical means the following:

a·typ·i·cal

adjective

not typical;  not conforming to the type; irregular; abnormal: atypical behavior; a flower atypical of the species.

Yep that about sums me up right there, and I'm not talking just about the seizures. I'm thinking it's not such a good thing when your doctor gives you this label. Maybe this is the reason the jackass doesn't listen to me. 

Anyyyhoo, so some of the problems I have been having could be symptoms of  a seizure when I do have them. So me being me, decided to try to narrow down the possibility's. Oh silly me, whatever was I thinking? I make an appointment with my incompetent wonderful neurologist to see if changing my medicine from generic to the brand name will help. I get the old run around and he tells me, "it's not the medicine, it works just fine and your levels are within range." Humph. I tell him, "my original doctor specifically put it in my records that I was NOT to get generic, since the one time the pharmacy decided to replace them with generic I started having seizures". He says, "there are more breakthrough seizures with the brand name than the generic. Have a nice day see you in a year". Yeah, fuck you.

Well things do not improve and in fact are getting much worse. So I made another appointment with him to address the same thing.  Same spiel except this time he actually listens to me describe the symptoms.  His answer..."your depressed go see a psychologist." I...hate...this...man. Now I could really tell you what I feel and think about him, but I'm sure I would offend, oh, I don't know, like half the world. Guess I'm not going there. 

I go home utterly flattened, and decide to look up physical symptoms of depression. Strange, they kinda sound like what I have only there's one simple thing missing......I AM NOT DEPRESSED! What I am is PISSED OFF! To appease the neurology doctor who thinks he's God I make an appointment with a psychologist, but only so I can go back to him and throw it in his pompous face. Weehaa I'm starting to feel better now.  

So I go to my appointment with the shrink, and I tell her why I'm there. I then proceed to tell her a bit about myself, cuz that's what your supposed to do right? I tell her the meds I'm on, one of which is Bupropion. For those of you who don't know what this medicine is, it is well... an anti-depressant. Here's the catch, I'm not on it for depression. It also is supposed to help a person quit smoking. Guess what? It's not working, cuz I'm still smoking like a chimney stack, however I am not depressed...haha we covered that somewhere up there now didn't we. Fricken neurologist take that. If you actually looked at my record, and I know you didn't, you would see that I'm already on an anti-depressant. 

Well we talk for my hour, and at the end she says, "your not depressed, your overwhelmed and need a vacation, and obviously have some medical issues that need to be address, and you really should try to get into see your original neurologist since this one seems to be an ass. Ok she didn't really call him an ass, but you get the drift". THANK YOU!! She is now my best friend. Ok well maybe not my best friend since seeing her is $200 a pop, but since my insurance covers it...she is my new best friend once a week. Hmm, now that I put that on "paper" so to speak, that's kinda saddening. I think I have crossed over to depressed...Na. 

So why keep going to her when I'm not depressed? Well why the hell not? I felt much better after unloading on her, she gives me some things to think on. Like I need any more things to think on. And one can never have too many different perspectives when looking at a problem. Then again in my case if there are too many I just might get confused.  I'm talking perspectives here, then again problems would also qualify for causing confusion.


Now I'm getting to the part that resulted in the title of this blog. You see, I don't feel that I'm a particularly funny person. I have a strange sense of humor. Kinda on the sarcastic side with an odd little twist. I never get jokes. Yeah it sucks to be the last one laughing, but it is who I am. I see myself as a rather somber type of person. So when the following thing happens, it tickles me to the bone.

I have seen her a grand ole total of three times, and apparently my life, yes the CRAZY LIFE that this blog is based on, is hilarious. Either that or I'm two sheets shy of the looney bin and she's keeping it a secret from me. The reason I say this is that on all three occasions of  seeing her, I cracked her up. I wasn't even trying people! I give her credit though she really tries to hold it in. I mean come on how unprofessional is it to laugh at your clients life?  Tonight it resulted in her snorking. What is snorking you ask? Well it's similar to snorting, but it's snorking. Plus the sound that came from her didn't really qualify as a snort. I couldn't use snort since I am an Atypical sort of person. So I have come up with my own term cuz if your going to be different you might as well go with a bang. Ha ha snork, damn I even crack myself up. Good thing I see a psychologist now isn't it?