Yesterdays post was emotionally draining and left me physically whooped. So to better lighten the mood, here we go...
Why is it when I have my slippers on, there is always someone trying to walk in them... with me? It makes it very difficult to walk up the stairs when you are stepping in my slipper. If you need a pair I will gladly get you your own pair. Keep your paws outta my slippers so I do not continue to stumble around the house looking like I'm shitfaced . I don't care if it seems to provide entertainment for the family. Thank you in advance Smokey and Superman.
Why is it when I'm in the middle of some serious typing, the keyboard on my laptop suddenly decides to have a hissy fit? I really need the spacebar and the back button. Especially the back button since I seem to go backwards more than forwards thanks to the non working space button. If you weren't connected to my computer I would have, without a thought flung you across the room. Were you having a bad day yesterday, you seem fine today? Devious little thing you are. See I told you it liked to fuck with me.
Why Smokey, why are you so irritating? This constant licking and scratching is driving me nuts! There is no cause for you to do this. With the constant thump, thump, thump that you do you should have been named Thumper. Never mind the thrp... thrp... thrp sound you make when you constantly lick yourself. Wow you know your a bad speller when you have trouble spelling a non-word. Different story...let's not go there just yet.
Why Superman, when I'm at my last straw with you, you somehow manage to get a chuckle out of me? I guess the real question would be how do you do it. You must have some inner radar system that warns you that you have entered enemy territory or something, and beat a hasty retreat with saying something cute as hell. If I make it through your teenage years alive it will be a miracle. Y'all better start praying for me now.
Why DH do you let a good ole stinky whopper go while in bed, and then proceed to cover my head with the blankets? You seriously must have a death wish. I will gladly grant that wish if you continue to do this to me. Just remember I know where you sleep my love, and for the most part I am awake while you sleep. Hmm, then again you are awake while I sleep. Must make sure I have a strategic plan in force before proceeding.
Why Princess is it that after I have showed you time and time again how to clean the fricken bathroom you persist on doing it wrong? Yes, I am a control freak, what of it? One of these days I shall just lock you in there till you get it right. I know you can do this, you do after all get straight A's at school without batting an eye, so I know your smart enough to figure this out.
Why Jokester do you have to be so brutally honest with me. Have you not had any of your dads DNA of charm pass to you. Walking up to me and with a laugh pronounce, "wow mom your butt is big", is not considered humor. I brought you into this world my young son, I can take you out. Now people, like I would really hurt my kids, it's all empty threats. Unfortunately they have figured this out. Snap.
Speaking of dads charm, Honey cracking the joke of, "your butts so big that the moon has to orbit it because of the gravitational pull" WAS NOT FUNNY. I know you thought it hilarious and cracked yourself up, and when you told your mom she tried not to chuckle but you had better start sleeping with one eye open my dear. If you don't know what I mean refer to the question about you above.
Thank you my family for noticing when I'm having a bad day and stop to give me a hug and tell me you love me. While you are the straw that broke the camels back, you are the glue to put him back together.
Thank you family for telling me dinner was GREAT even when I know I bombed with it. The fact that it took you two hours to eat it boys was a dead give away.
Thank you my wonderful family for providing the chaos that makes up my CRAZY LIFE, I wouldn't have it any other way. Umm second thought, knock it off or I will run away. Far, far away.
Thank you family for loving me even when I'm not perfect. Yes I admitted it, I am not perfect. DH you know have written proof that I said this. If you use this against me, you better start sleeping with both eyes open.
I am so there with you...Farmer Bob is well know for his intestinal issues. It's a miracle I haven't suffocated in my sleep! So Funny!!!
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