Well I was just reading one of One Tired Mama's Posts about schools, and IEPs and all the crap we as parents have to deal with regarding our child's education. Now I have to write this, cuz apparently I'm still pissed at said school system. A lot.
The first round began with Princess back in elementary school. Princess has Turner's Syndrome, and with it comes some special things. Someday I'll devote a post just to TS, but not today.
The main reason that Princess had an IEP was for her speech therapist. Part of TS is a high arched palette. It make pronouncing words correctly more difficult. Even now if she talks too fast I can't understand what she is saying. The other reason was for math and reading. She really had a tough time with both early on.
Now I'm gonna begin the gritty nastiness of dealing with the schools. When Princess was in 4th grade we moved to Wisconsin. Once again she was given an IEP. No problems the first year, however the 5th grade turned out to be a nightmare for not only her, but her whole class.
Her teacher SUCKED! Big time. I called a conference with her because Princess's grade took a nose dive off a cliff. She didn't get great grades before, but she sure wasn't getting straight F's and D's. The teacher's response was, "Oh it's the whole class. All of them are really struggling." "Excuse me? Your telling me the whole class is having trouble, and flunking?" This is where it got really nasty, well I guess I got really nasty. Keep in mind this is a very small town school, I'm used to the big city schools.
I got up in her face and said, "I'm thinking it's not the students who are to blame. When you have eighteen kids flunking, something tells me it's the teacher. Your a crappy teacher!" Let me tell you that didn't go over so well.I ended up taking Princess out of school and home schooled her for the rest of the year and half of the next. The next year we had custody of our nephew and he ended up with the same teacher, and holy crap did she ever kiss my ass. Hope the new attitude stuck with her. I have never met a teacher who was so hated by so many students and parents. How sad.
When I started home schooling I found out that Princess didn't know her short and long vowels. How the hell did she get to 5th grade and not know her vowels!? I mean after all she had been in Title 1 reading for four years. Who the fuck missed the boat on this one? I had to start at the beginning with the phonics. She seriously would not have been able to read this post back back to me without 90% error. Within a year I had her caught up to her grade level and then some. This was done only teaching three to four hours a day. Something is very wrong with our school system.
Princess went from getting F's and D's to straight A's, and has continued doing this for six years. The next problem came when we moved back to Minnesota. Apparently these states do not use the same semester/trimester system. Because we had moved two weeks before the semester ended in Wisconsin, they refused to give Princess her ninth grade credits. Seriously?! The school I got her into is a Charter School, and their hands were tied on the credit thing, they couldn't just let her test out. They originally wanted to put her back in ninth grade to gain her credits. Oh yeah, not happening people. This kid worked her ass off and is not going back into ninth grade. Holy tantrum was happening here on our parts. We came up with a compromise...she would continue in the tenth grade and go to night school for her ninth grade credits. This girl went to school for eleven hours a day M-Th for an entire school year, and managed to get straight A's in both schools. Take that assholes. My girl rocks!!! She is almost caught up now, she has half a credit of math to do still, and we are not so worried she wont have the credits to graduate next year.
Now let's move on to Jokester's first year of school which was last year. He was in a different school since there were no openings at the school Princess goes to. I am kicking myself for putting him in this school. His teacher sucked ass too. Some back ground here. The boys have not really had the opportunity to socialize with other kids their age. Every where we move there are no kids their age. We don't know the people in our communities, so getting together with other parents and their kids wasn't happening. It's always been just the three of them. There was never any need to daycare or preschool. Jokester went to Kindergarten last year, and it was a nightmare. Twenty-three days into the school year his teacher wanted a conference. Ok, so I go. She tells me point blank that Jokester is NOT going to pass Kindergarten. Come again, what? She determined in twenty-three days that Jokester just wasn't ready for this. Umm, yeah it's going to take a bit for him to get the hang of this since this is completely new, but your writing him off already? Bitch. Basically in a nutshell we refused to take him out of school, she persisted with the shitty attitude towards him. If I had been able to get him in another Charter School I would have ASAP. I think Jokester is Dyslexic and when I brought it up to them they were like oh, maybe. They finally brought someone into school to test him but not for Dyslexia but rather for Autism/Aspburgers. Where did this come from? We waited and waited and waited for the test results...finally at the end of the year I found out he got into Princess's school and I went to get the records all together. Asked where the report on his testing was...they couldn't find the the results or the guy. I'm sorry You lost a whole guy, along with the test results on my son? So I called the new school and informed them of what was going on, and wasn't really sure what grade he would be going into. This was a actual concern since if he had to repeat Kindergarten they might not have an opening for him. They weren't too concern once they heard about the nightmare. Sometime during the summer I got a letter in the mail, stating he had flunked Kindergarten. Fuck you.
He went into 1st grade this year, and didn't have to re-do Kindergarten. Yes he is struggling, which if the previous school had done their job right wouldn't be happening. Jokester's teacher says that he is making great progress, but he probably wont be up to the reading level he should be at the end of the year, but he wont be too far off, and the teacher is not too concerned. He is getting the extra help he needed so badly the year before, and is kicking butt in math which he struggled with so hard before. I continue to work hard with him here at home, and hopefully between the awesome school and myself we will get him where he is supposed to be, and make sure that he still likes school in the mean time.
So for all you parents out there who are getting screwed over by the schools, your not alone. There are student advocates available...use them. If things are not going the way they should...become the biggest thorn in their side. If you don't fight for them they will just be swallowed in the bullshit of a school system. One other thing...schools and teachers don't expect you to give a crap. It is refreshing to have a parents support even if you make their life hell. There are so many parents out there who don't give a crap, so when you do step up and call the school out on something it takes them by surprise. They become hostile until they know your doing it for your kid, and not just blowing smoke up their ass. Keep at it and good luck.
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