Dear Truck

Dear truck:

Why do you hate me so much? I mean I really don't understand why you would do this to me. I though we had an agreement? Apparently I was wrong. It must have been a cross in our communication, well I guess on my part because this came out of no where. 

We were just sitting there waiting for DH to get out of work. You know just like you and I do everyday, well except Sundays that is. Me jamming to some tunes, and you keeping me nice and warm. We were hanging like BFF's.

I suppose it was as good of place as any, well I suppose in the driveway would have been much better. I'm not complaining dear truck, I'm just thankful you chose to wait until we were  parked. 

I will have to say the music you played did not really go with the song I was listening too. The beat was a bit off, and by the way, extremely loud. It certainly woke my ass up, that's for sure.

The chwap chwap chwap... BANG music you played 

would have been a sweet bootie swinging beat if not for the fact it scared the shit outta me. I made sure I turned you off right away, I had to protect you I hope you realize. 

I popped your pretty E-lectric blue hood to find the cause of this noise. Imagine how my heart sank as I saw a wet substance all over your pristine motor. Oh Lordy girl you were hurt pretty bad, and then I heard you crying your oil all over the ground. The pain you were is must have been horrible.

I tried my best to figure out what happened, but alas it was dark out and your little under the hood light didn't quite reach where I needed to see. I know you gave me what you had, and me being so short most definitely  didn't help. I know my shortness failed you there in that parking lot. 

DH and I gently pushed you into a parking spot where there was better light. Sweetheart I know this isn't really the time to bring this up, but you were pretty heavy. I think you could loose a few pounds. DH was the one to find your belt just hanging and off it's pulley wheels, but alas it was still too dark to see what had happened.

So DH will call the bestest tow truck, to gently carry you home. I'm sorry it will have to wait until tomorrow for tomorrow is payday. I hope your not scared out there, just know there are always your kind parked next to you. 

I only hope when you get home sweet home that I'm able to find your problem. I hope it really isn't anything too serious, but the sinking feeling in my stomach tells me it is. It's never a good thing to see your oil all over the engine and crying on the ground.

Your spot in the driveway looks so bare without you. The van is very sad that you are not by it's side. I will have to get a new battery for your friend the van, since I've neglected the van. Just between you and me...I like you much better. I really shouldn't say that about the van. It did after all get us through after you threw a tantrum and put a hole in your break-line. Wasn't it enough that I proudly drove you around town, with your bad ass motor just rumbling and your fan screaming?

Remember the time the cop pulled us over. He thought your exhaust was too loud, and I showed him the receipt from when we installed shiny new pipes. I gave you some gas and we showed him it was just your power, and not any flaw in your shiny new pipes. Boy was he surprised, the look on his face was priceless and got a chuckle out of me. 

So until tomorrow when I can see you again, I will get the tools ready, and lay out my grubs. I will ...screw it here's how it's really gonna play

I'm gonna get your ass towed here, look to see what the hell happened, and do a whole shit load of swearing and a throw a whole lot of tantrums. I'm really gonna spaz if there is a rod thrown. Then it's gonna be me against you and I guarantee I will win you snotty little money sucking bitch. Take that and shove it up your shiny new tailpipes.

Ah I feel much better now. Ya'll make sure you listen for the swearing tomorrow cuz I'm sure you'll be able to hear it miles and miles away.

Update: Got the truck home and found it wasn't the poor things fault at all. It seems the mechanic who put my new fan in did something or rather didn't do something and the fan flew off. It took a pulley, the brand new serpentine belt with it, and also put a nice cut into the tranny line. He's fired!